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The fashion trends nowadays change very rapidly and it is quite difficult to follow the latest trends always. Many people believe that the fashion trends primarily exist just to sell clothes and they also argue that following them is just a waste of time and we should dress what we feel comfortable in. v.1

The fashion trends nowadays change very rapidly and it is quite difficult to follow the latest trends always. Many people believe that the fashion trends primarily exist just to sell clothes and they also argue that following them is just a waste of time and we should dress what we feel comfortable in. v. 1
Some people say that fashion & style are very difficult to follow and they think that the aim of fashion & style is only related to business and profit. They also believe that people should not follow fashion trends, and should wear clothing apparel in accordance with their personal interest and comfort. To a certain extent, I would agree that we should not always follow the latest fashion trend, but under some circumstances, wearing an updated fashion is also important. To begin with, it is a fact that fashion trends change rapidly nowadays. Clothes that are purchased today might be considered as old fashioned in the following semester. However, many people think that these rapid changes are set by fashion designers for commercial purposes. Therefore, people do not have to follow fashion style since it would only benefit fashion designers and manufacturers themselves. People should wear dresses which are suitable and comfortable for them. On the other hand, although it is true that people should wear clothes freely, but it is important for people to wear an up to date fashion style as well. By wearing an updated fashioned style might increase the self-confident level of the person who wears it. Besides that, clothing also might impact on business results as well. For example, as a marketing representative of an elite company, the person should wear the appropriate business attire, which represents the company. His/her clothing might impact on the sales performance of the company. In summary, fashion styles are always changing, and they are difficult to follow.   Several people think that the changes are made by fashion people for business purposes and they believe that people should wear clothes which are in accordance with their styles. In my opinion, it is important for people to follow fashions trends, but they do not have to follow it intensively, since wearing an update fashion style give some benefits for the individuals themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
follow and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and profit. They
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
, and should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
clothing apparel in accordance with their personal interest and comfort. To a certain extent, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should not always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances, wearing an updated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
rapidly
nowadays. Clothes that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be considered
as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
in the following semester.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are set
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
designers for commercial purposes.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
since it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
designers and manufacturers themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
dresses which are suitable and comfortable for them.

On the other hand
, although it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
clothes
freely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
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people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
an up to date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
as well
. By wearing an updated fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
increase the self-confident level of the person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wears
it.
Besides
that, clothing
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
results
as well
.
For example
, as a marketing representative of an elite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the person should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
attire, which represents the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. His/her clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
impact on the sales performance of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
styles
are always changing, and they are difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
purposes and
they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
clothes which are in accordance with their styles.

In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
it
intensively
, since wearing an update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for the individuals themselves.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The fashion trends nowadays change very rapidly and it is quite difficult to follow the latest trends always. Many people believe that the fashion trends primarily exist just to sell clothes and they also argue that following them is just a waste of time and we should dress what we feel comfortable in. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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