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Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. v.2

Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. v. 2
Nowadays, we live in consumerism advanced era in which whether following fashion trends or not has become a debatable issue, especially, among the young generation. Some people believe that pursuing this trend is a good way of improving people’s lifestyles, while many others argue that people should dress something more comfortable. I advocate the latter group at least for two main reasons elaborated below. The first group claim that in this day and age, wearing in vogue clothes enhances the sense of pride and self-confident among the people. In addition, it is a necessary task for celebrities and famous individuals. Of course, they are right to some extent, but I am of the conception that the drawbacks of following this trend outweigh its benefits. Firstly, it is obvious that fashion is a changeable trend by its nature. Consequently, following this dynamic procedure cost so much and it is kind of wasting people’s money and time. As an example, one of my cousins allocates more than fifty percent of his income to the latest attire instead of saving it for his future life. Moreover, it should be mentioned that the main purpose of wearing clothes is to protect humans’ body from different weather conditions rather than showing off. Secondly, people’s clothes should illustrate their own personality and uniqueness instead of mocking someone else who works for the film or fashion industry. To be more precise, people should appreciate their own tastes, believes. However, the predominant feature of fashion is being against the traditions and cultures of many societies. All in all, from what has been discussed, I pen down saying that although pursuing fashion might be a pleasant task for some people, it is an expensive and improper trend in a long run.
Nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in consumerism advanced era in which whether following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
or not has become a debatable issue,
especially
, among the young generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that pursuing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyles, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should dress something more comfortable. I advocate the latter group at least for two main reasons elaborated below.

The
first
group claim that in this day and age, wearing in vogue clothes enhances the sense of pride and self-confident among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, it is a necessary task for celebrities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
individuals.
Of course
, they are right to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am of the conception that the drawbacks of following this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
outweigh its benefits.

Firstly
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is a changeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
by its nature.
Consequently
, following this dynamic procedure cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much and it is kind of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
money and time. As an example, one of my cousins allocates more than fifty percent of his income to the latest attire
instead
of saving it for his future life.
Moreover
, it should
be mentioned
that the main purpose of wearing clothes is to protect humans’ body from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
weather conditions
rather
than showing off.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
clothes should illustrate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personality and uniqueness
instead
of mocking someone else who works for the film or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry. To be more precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should appreciate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tastes, believes.
However
, the predominant feature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is being against the traditions and cultures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies.

All in all, from what has
been discussed
, I pen down saying that although pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
might be a pleasant task for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is an expensive and improper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in a long run.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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