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Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it is widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we should not follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent v.1

Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it is widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we should not follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. 1
It is considered by some that being a university graduate is the key to securing a good job while there are others who think that it is better to have experience and soft skills. In my opinion, I believe that having a university degree is essential for academic jobs while soft skill and experience is good for business. On the one hand, many think that it is easier to find a job if they are university graduates with a good degree. In other words, having a tertiary education puts people one step ahead of others who do not and this can be deciding factor for a good job. The competition to get into universities and increasing number of student show just how significant this level of education is for people's future work opportunities. On the other hand, having work experience and soft skill, such as leadership and other interpersonal skills, can also throw the balance in favour of the applicant, according to some. For many positions there are an overwhelming number of applicant and therefore, it is often thought that having relevant experience in that line of work can put one ahead of the game when applying for a position. Finally, in my opinion, whether needing high level education or skills, depends on the position applied for. Take for example, law, medicine or teaching, it is impossible to be considered for a position without required educational background. In contrast, in business, it would be more important for a candidate to have soft skills and experience in that line of business. In conclusion, getting a good job requires a relevant background either in experience or education depending on the type of work or field. People should make sure they attain necessary skills or degree before applying for a job in order to be sure of success.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduate is the key to securing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree is essential for academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for business.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is easier to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
degree. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
puts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
one step ahead of others who do not and this can be deciding factor for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The competition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and increasing number of student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
how significant this level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
opportunities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, such as leadership and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, can
also
throw the balance in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the applicant, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions there are an overwhelming number of applicant and
therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in that line of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can put one ahead of the game when applying for a position.

Finally
, in my opinion, whether needing high level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, depends on the position applied for. Take
for example
, law, medicine or teaching, it is impossible to
be considered
for a position without required educational background.
In contrast
, in business, it would be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a candidate to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in that line of business.

In conclusion
, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requires a relevant background either in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
depending on the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or field.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they attain necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in order to be sure of success.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it is widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we should not follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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