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Increasing the price of the petrol is the best solution to traffic jam and pollution issues. v.1

Increasing the price of the petrol is the best solution to traffic jam and pollution issues. v. 1
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about the necessary solution to be taken to face the congestion as well as the pollution related problems. Some argue that increasing the price of fuel is the best way while others have different opinions and views. This essay, as my opinion leads to, takes an intermediate position through some considerations given below. I personally believe that gasoline price must be increased. A massive number of vehicles run on the streets, whether it is a narrow one or a boulevard, contributes in some ways of traffic jam and also pollutions. Moreover, most of the cars owners on the road can be recognised, as most of them are wealthy. So the petrol price does not matter for them in most of the cases. The rocketed price of petroleum means less use of personal vehicles, especially for middle-class car owners. Improving the public transportation, on the other hand, would bring more or less, direct or indirect, better transportation facility for all. So, instead of increasing the fuel price, the authority should put more emphasis on enhancing the public transportation facilities, along with increasing the petrol price. However, I believe that this solution must be accompanied by other attempts such as providing higher quality and quantity in public transportations. People need mobilisations as well as they need food and housings, recently so government should see these as a basic input for their service in transportation matter. For instance, the security for commuters is important. They want to be secure so government should provide security officer in appropriate number that could lead to convenient in reaching the destinations. They also need enough vehicles with short-scheduled arrivals so they will not come late to attend their meetings, for instance. Besides, there should be a high improvement in the quality of roads as well as the stations which should be added. As the result, there will be increasing number shifting utilisation in mobile from private to public transportation. To sum up, push the price of oil up is the great idea to deal with the transportation problems, but the stakeholders also have obligations to be finished to get the highest result.
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about the necessary solution to
be taken
to face the congestion
as well
as the pollution related problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of fuel is the best way while others have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions and views. This essay, as my opinion leads to, takes an intermediate position through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considerations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
below.

I
personally
believe that gasoline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be increased
. A massive number of vehicles run on the streets, whether it is a narrow one or a boulevard, contributes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways of traffic jam and
also
pollutions.
Moreover
, most of the cars owners on the road can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
, as most of them are wealthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
does not matter for them in most of the cases. The rocketed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of petroleum means less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal vehicles,
especially
for middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
car owners. Improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
on the other hand
, would bring more or less, direct or indirect, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
facility for all.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, the authority should put more emphasis on enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
facilities, along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the petrol price.

However
, I believe that this solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be accompanied
by other attempts such as providing higher quality and quantity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
need
Possible spelling mistake. 'mobilisations' is British English.
mobilisations
as well
as they need food and housings, recently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these as a basic input for their service in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
matter.
For instance
, the security for commuters is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. They want to be secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide security officer in appropriate number that could lead to convenient in reaching the destinations. They
also
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
vehicles with short-scheduled arrivals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
late to attend their meetings,
for instance
.
Besides
, there should be a high improvement in the quality of roads
as well
as the stations which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
. As the result, there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
number shifting
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
in mobile from private to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

To sum up, push the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of oil up is the great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the stakeholders
also
have obligations to
be finished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the highest result.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing the price of the petrol is the best solution to traffic jam and pollution issues. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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