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The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible to solve it? Is it the governments, organisation or each individuals? v.1

The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible to solve it? Is it the governments, organisation or each individuals? v. 1
We live in a fast paced world and movies are the biggest source of entertainment for us. Whether we should watch it on electronic gadgets or in a cinema is an oft-heard question. In my opinion, movies should be watched on the silver screen. Both sides of the argument will be discussed in this essay. There are certainly a few benefits of watching movies on electronic gadgets. For example, a working professional who travels to office on public transport like bus can watch films on his way to work. Another advantage of watching movies on a tablet is that they can save money. Going to the theatres to watch movies can be quite expensive. Movie tickets are not cheap. Also, we need to factor in the cost of travelling and refreshments like popcorn and drinks. Even so, in my opinion, there are many more benefits of watching a movie in a cinema. Movie halls provide a completely different experience. The surround system and large screen gives total entertainment. Also, watching movies in the theatres is a great way to say no to privacy. Pirated movies can be watched on gadgets and this in return causes losses to production houses which produce the film. There are also some health benefits of watching movies in a cinema. Watching them on small screens for long hours can cause eyestrain, blurred vision and pain in the neck and shoulders. To conclude, watching movies on gadgets saves time and money, but in the long run it is harmful for health. Also, it hurts film producers. On the other hand, watching movies in theatre is complete enjoyment.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are the biggest source of entertainment for us. Whether we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it on electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
or in a cinema is an oft-heard question. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
on the silver screen. Both sides of the argument will
be discussed
in this essay.

There are
certainly
a few benefits of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
.
For example
, a working professional who travels to office on public transport like bus can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films on his way to work. Another advantage of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on a tablet is that they can save money. Going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can be quite expensive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movie
tickets are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
Also
, we need to factor in the cost of travelling and refreshments like popcorn and drinks.

Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more benefits of watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in a cinema.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movie
halls provide a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experience. The surround system and large screen gives total entertainment.
Also
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
is a great way to say no to privacy. Pirated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
and this in return causes losses to production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which produce the film. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health benefits of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in a cinema. Watching them on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
screens for long hours can cause eyestrain, blurred vision and pain in the neck and shoulders.

To conclude
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
saves time and money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the long run it is harmful for health.
Also
, it hurts film producers.
On the other hand
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is complete enjoyment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible to solve it? Is it the governments, organisation or each individuals? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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