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The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v.2

The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v. 2
With new development in the country brings many benefits and profits, but it can even cause various problems for our environment because how it is being produced. In this case we will discuss and proved with big picture how it is caused and who is right person or entity to solve this issue. Well to start with, with growing population there is many cars on the roads which are causing a huge amount of toxic gases in the atmosphere which are harming our environment and not only that many factory cause air pollution. Even there are factory which throws waste in the water, which are very harm full for the fishes and they ever dump waste in land which can cause too many harmful chemicals. To protect our environment, it is not just the factory or governments responsibility to solve it, it is each and every ones responsibility. We all should get up and take steps to improve our environment. Well government plays a major role and they should take some actions as government is formed by the peoples. For example, government should take action on how the forest is being cut down and which are cause drop in oxygen in the air and rise in greenhouse gases which turns into global warming. As for the companies, government can put out some rules and regulation to which companies are obliged to follow. This could create a safe environment for the peoples rather than employing create problems later. For example, government imposes restrictions in emitting smoke from factories so that it is more environmentally friendly. In conclusion, In my opinion government holds the major role to solve this problem, but we all should also take responsibility to protect our environment as steps taken by each and every individual can help in improving our environment.
With new development in the country brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and profits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
various problems for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
how it is
being produced
.
In this case
we will discuss and proved with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture how it
is caused
and who is right person or entity to solve this issue.

Well to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, with growing population there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cars on the roads which are causing a huge amount of toxic gases in the atmosphere which are harming our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
air pollution. Even there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
which throws waste in the water, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harm full for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
fishes
and they ever dump waste in land which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful chemicals. To protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
responsibility to solve it, it is each and every ones responsibility. We all should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up and take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays a major
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
role and
they should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is formed
by the peoples.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take action on how the forest is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down and which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
drop in oxygen in the air and rise in greenhouse gases which turns into global warming.

As for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can put out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are obliged
to follow. This could create a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for the peoples
rather
than employing create problems later.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
imposes restrictions in emitting smoke from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is more
environmentally
friendly.

In conclusion
, In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
holds the major role to solve this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we all should
also
take responsibility to protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
as steps taken by each and every individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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