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The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v.1

The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v. 1
Our ecosystem is facing major threats and there are widespread reasons associated with this. It is difficult to identify the root cause behind this. Many people contemplate that it is the responsibility of governments and private organizations while others think that it has to be managed at an individual level. Firstly, we will discuss the threats and then we can get into the course of action and circumstances leading to that situation. One of the major challenges is due to pollution and global warming. Government and private bodies should definitely step in and take some action to eradicate this disaster as the environment is going through a rough phase of destruction due to pollution and an increase in global warming. However, it is not just the responsibility of government, every individual has a role to play and they should act in a global sense towards this. People should be more careful and limit the misuse of things like usage of motor vehicles and water wastage etc. Although there are organizations spreading information and educating, people are still having a blind eye towards this and this has to change. To conclude, the government, public or private sector organizations and individuals all have an equal role in improving this situation and be more cautious. A recent survey has revealed an increased awareness in people and improved actions from the government, which is an example to confirm that we are heading in the right direction.
Our ecosystem is facing major threats and there are widespread reasons associated with this. It is difficult to identify the root cause behind this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contemplate that it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and private organizations while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be managed
at an individual level.

Firstly
, we will discuss the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
threats and
then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the course of action and circumstances leading to that situation. One of the major challenges is due to pollution and global warming.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and private bodies should definitely step in and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action to eradicate this disaster as the environment is going through a rough phase of destruction due to pollution and an increase in global warming.

However
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, every individual has a role to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
play and
they should act in a global sense towards this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should be more careful and limit the misuse of things like usage of motor vehicles and water wastage etc. Although there are organizations spreading information and educating,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
having a blind eye towards this and this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, public or private sector organizations and individuals all have an equal role in improving this situation and be more cautious. A recent survey has revealed an increased awareness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
actions from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, which is an example to confirm that we are heading in the right direction.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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