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The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v.3

The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v. 3
Although such topics, in all likelihood, never will yield a consensual agreement, a constructive dialogue on various problems in our environment which is causing danger can lead to thought-provoking discussions. My view is that irrespective of the numerous arguments that exist on either side, the Government creates rules for the people to reduce dangers in our living environment. In this essay, I shall explain it by analysing both sides of the statement. There are several reasons in favour of my stance. To commence with, the Government is the most responsible entity to sort out this concern for the people. It is important to note that although the Government is formed by people, it has the responsibility to control certain factors that are causing problems. For example, the forest is guarded by the protection force formed by the Government to make sure there is no threat to the people living nearby. Therefore, the aforementioned discussion shows that by creating rules for the people and the industries the Government is controlling various potential dangers. Another pivotal aspect of the argument is that the Government can mandate companies operating in the country to follow certain rules and regulations so as not to violate industrial standards. This could create a safe environment for the people rather than employing creating problems later. Here is a hypothetical example, the Government imposes restrictions in emitting smoke from factories so that it must be environmentally friendly. This essay discussed the Government is the entity which is holding a major responsibility to alleviate the dangers caused by various problems with rules and regulations on People and industries. The equally potential evidence to support the arguments I have provided, underlines my opinion.
Although such topics, in all likelihood,
The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'will' and 'yield'.
never will yield
a consensual agreement, a constructive dialogue on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in our environment which is causing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-provoking discussions. My view is that irrespective of the numerous arguments that exist on either side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
in our living environment. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both sides of the statement.

There are several reasons in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance. To commence with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is the most responsible entity to sort out this concern for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is formed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it has the responsibility to control certain factors that are causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For example
, the forest
is guarded
by the protection force formed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure there is no threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living nearby.
Therefore
, the aforementioned discussion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that by creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the industries the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is controlling various potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.

Another pivotal aspect of the argument is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
can mandate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
operating in the country to follow certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to violate industrial standards. This could create a safe environment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than employing creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
later. Here is a hypothetical example, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
imposes restrictions in emitting smoke from factories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
environmentally
friendly.

This essay discussed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is the entity which is holding a major responsibility to alleviate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
caused by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
and industries. The
equally
potential evidence to support the arguments I have provided, underlines my opinion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay The environment we are living in is in danger due to various problems…so who do u think should be responsible for solving it? Is it the governments, organization or each individual? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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