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The man expresses his opinion about the proposal described In the letter. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state his opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.2

The man expresses his opinion about the proposal described In the letter. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state his opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 2
The admiration people hold of celebrities is not a new development, and with daily increase in the number of media users the craze among common individuals is growing rapidly. Now the question is, is this really a positive trend? In this essay I will portray the reasons behind this and my belief regarding the same. There are various factors which influence commoners to imitate their favourite celebrities. To begin with, people like to look outstanding and fashionable and to cope with peer pressure as well as sustaining the Fashionista image, they try to emulate their favoured stars by following them on social platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter et cetera. Secondly, a fear of not being accepted amongst friends always plays in mind of especially the youngsters, who are the majority of any fan base. Last but not the least, in today's workaholic society, the lack of proper monitoring by parents, which eventually leads to loneliness is also a cause behind the same. Although the tendency of copying others is very common, in my view, it is an unnecessary thing. Firstly, it is always appreciable when someone creates their own fashion statement rather than copying a celeb, which will ultimately bring happiness for themselves. Also, this involves enormous wastage of money. For instance, to get along with the latest vogue, one teenager spends a lot to buy stuff from a renowned branded shop, which is of no use. Nevertheless, incapability of following up with the trendsetter can throw people into depression. To summarize, in spite of the fact that celebrities are the influence to the community, it is always better to create own principle and value than to copy others.
The admiration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold of celebrities is not a new development, and with daily increase in the number of media users the craze among common individuals is growing
rapidly
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the question is, is this
really
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend? In this essay I will portray the reasons behind this and my belief regarding the same.

There are various factors which influence commoners to imitate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrities. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to look outstanding and fashionable and to cope with peer pressure
as well
as sustaining the Fashionista image, they try to emulate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
stars by following them on social platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
.
Secondly
, a fear of not being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
friends always plays in mind of
especially
the youngsters, who are the majority of any fan base. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's workaholic society, the lack of proper monitoring by parents, which
eventually
leads to loneliness is
also
a cause behind the same.

Although the tendency of copying others is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common, in my view, it is an unnecessary thing.
Firstly
, it is always appreciable when someone creates their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fashion statement
rather
than copying a celeb, which will
ultimately
bring happiness for themselves.
Also
, this involves enormous wastage of money.
For instance
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with the latest vogue, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
spends a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff from a renowned branded shop, which is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Nevertheless
, incapability of following up with the trendsetter can throw
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
into depression.

To summarize
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that celebrities are the influence to the community, it is always better to create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
principle and value than to copy others.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion about the proposal described In the letter. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state his opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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