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the education system is only critical factor in the development of a country. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

the education system is only critical factor in the development of a country. v. 1
Education plays an imperative role in the overall progression of a country. Many people may heavily rely on quality education as preparation for employment and experiences. However, there are other factors that are needed to propel a country towards success. We must acknowledge the way the education system of a country prepares most individuals by equipping them with various skills. Prior to gaining a qualification to practice certain professions such as teaching, nursing or accounting, it is necessary for the individuals undergo rigorous training. Certificate and diploma programs as well as university degrees are good examples of that. Some graduates may even choose to pursue further studies to attain certain requirements to be able to practice their chosen profession. The education system is undoubtedly important in preparing individuals to take on roles leading to the development of a country. However, it seems that producing graduates alone isn’t a guarantee of the advancement of a country. There are other factors that should come into play, and motivation of individuals is one. Without motivation, people may lose track of what they intend to do to contribute to the improvement of a country. Motivation drives people to achieve and maximize their potential, because they are determined to get better at many aspects of their life, eventually yielding improvement of their entire country. Furthermore, the availability of natural resources and job opportunities may also affect the growth of a national economy. Innovations of many individuals require raw materials, and should the country be able to mine these, their production and perhaps even export may help in stabilizing the local market. Finally, it is also important that the availability of employment is aligned with the skills of individuals applying for the positions. Giving skilled people the opportunity to apply their knowledge and experience in their profession makes them more productive, which contributes to GDP growth. In conclusion, education continues to play a pivotal role in the development of a country. However, other important factors should play a role in order to achieve steady and continuous progress.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
an imperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the
overall
progression of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
heavily
rely on quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as preparation for employment and experiences.
However
, there are other factors that
are needed
to propel a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
towards success.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge the way the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
prepares most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
by equipping them with various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Prior to gaining a qualification to practice certain professions such as teaching, nursing or accounting, it is necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
undergo rigorous training. Certificate and diploma programs
as well
as university degrees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
examples of that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
graduates may even choose to pursue
further
studies to attain certain requirements to be able to practice their chosen profession.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is
undoubtedly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to take on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
leading to the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, it seems that producing graduates alone isn’t a guarantee of the advancement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. There are other factors that should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
, and motivation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
is one. Without motivation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may lose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of what they intend to do to contribute to the improvement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Motivation drives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve and maximize their potential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are determined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of their life,
eventually
yielding improvement of their entire country.

Furthermore
, the availability of natural resources and job opportunities may
also
affect the growth of a national economy. Innovations of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
require raw materials, and should the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
be able to mine these, their production and perhaps even export may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in stabilizing the local market.
Finally
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the availability of employment
is aligned
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
applying for the positions. Giving skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to apply their knowledge and experience in their profession
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more productive, which contributes to GDP growth.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
continues to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a pivotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in order to achieve steady and continuous progress.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay the education system is only critical factor in the development of a country. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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