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Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. v. 1
Whether the benefits of advancing Artificial Intelligence (AI) worth the risks of the human-kind being overpowered by its creature has been a contentious discussion. While humans should not undermine threats presented, I believe with boundaries appropriately set, we can enjoy the new-born technology in its full potential. Several advantages have already emerged with improvements in AI. Virtual personal assistants such as Siri by Apple has made our lives easier. From checking the weather to playing your favourite songs, AI manages to personalize. It has also enabled robots to carry out procedures more precisely than humans, which minimalizes preventable errors from manufacturing to even medical surgeries. Dangerous professions, such as bomb sweeper, can now be replaced by their robotic counterparts, to reduce the unnecessary injuries or sacrifice of human. On the other hand, people are insecure about some jobs being taken over by AI, and unemployment could be a rising issue. Various positions, especially the repetitive ones, will be displaced to lower the production or labour costs. For example, Uniqlo has already developed a new 3D printing technology in making garments -- no sewer needed. People are also worried that AI might one day gain self-awareness and make decisions regardless of human wellness. It would be almost impossible to compete with something that is always evolving. For that, we find that when weighing in present economic and ethical challenges, it is hard to say AI is still the right answer for all. In conclusion, I believe that at the current stage, Artificial Intelligence promotes our daily life. Still, we should be diligent in overcoming the humane obstacles to its adoption.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
the benefits of advancing Artificial Intelligence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(AI)
worth the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of the human-kind
being overpowered
by its creature has been a contentious discussion. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should not undermine threats presented, I believe with boundaries
appropriately
set, we can enjoy the new-born technology in its full potential.

Several advantages have already emerged with improvements in AI.

Virtual personal assistants such as Siri by Apple has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier. From checking the weather to playing your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
songs, AI manages to personalize. It has
also
enabled robots to carry out procedures more
precisely
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
minimalizes
preventable errors from manufacturing to even medical surgeries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Dangerous
professions, such as bomb sweeper, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be replaced
by their robotic counterparts, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unnecessary injuries or sacrifice of human.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are insecure about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs
being taken
over by AI, and unemployment could be a rising issue. Various positions,
especially
the repetitive ones, will
be displaced
to lower the production or
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
costs.
For example
, Uniqlo has already developed a new 3D printing technology in making garments -- no sewer needed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
also
worried that AI might one day gain self-awareness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
wellness. It would be almost impossible to compete with something
that is
always evolving. For that, we find that when weighing in present economic and ethical challenges, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to say AI is
still
the right answer for all.

In conclusion
, I believe that at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
stage, Artificial Intelligence promotes our daily life.
Still
, we should be diligent in overcoming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humane
obstacles to its adoption.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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