Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The diagram shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The diagram shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable.
Imposing strict traffic laws is regarded as effective in decreasing the rate of violators. Admittedly, this measure is of great help to the limit of serious accidents happening on the streets; that is because there have been the transport vehicles in big cities during rush hours, whereby not least participants are willing to violate laws if serve punishments are not implemented in their countries. To take an obvious example, drunken driving, running means of transportation with imprisoned in case the law- breakers cause serious accidents. The more harsh regulations are issued, the better people's awareness of safe driving will be. In reality, traffic problems associated with a lot of elements such as street conditions, lights, signs, etc. need to be taken into consideration carefully by the authorities so that citizens can avoid unexpected accidents with regarded to rough the streets. In this situation, the national budget ought to be used for improving the quality of roads or had more patrols at hot spots so as to prompt interventions. What is more, driving skill training courses have to be conducted seriously; simultaneously, it is essential that competitions of safe driving need to be organized regularly- an effective way to reduce the cases of limited ability to operate vehicles. It is a fact that road safety is always a top concern of the governments and people all over the world, especially when the quantities of traffic accidents have increased significantly in recent years. That is the rationale accounting for why one opinion of this worrying issue is to punish offenders severely, yet my perception is that there are more approaches to make sure that vehicle users can get safety when moving on the streets From what I have highlighted above, I can draw a conclusion that government investments in enhancing traffic infrastructure quality as well as preventive measures are very essential. More importantly, educational programs of road safety still play a vital role in shaping travelling culture, notably encouraging all members in society to improve their driving abilities.
Imposing strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws
is regarded
as effective in decreasing the rate of violators.
Admittedly
, this measure is of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the limit of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
happening on the streets;
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there have been the transport vehicles in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities during rush hours, whereby not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
participants are willing to violate laws if serve punishments are not implemented in their countries. To take an obvious example, drunken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, running means of transportation with imprisoned in case the law- breakers cause serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. The more harsh regulations
are issued
, the better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's awareness of safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
will be.

In reality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems associated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
elements such as street conditions, lights, signs, etc. need to
be taken
into consideration
carefully
by the authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that citizens can avoid unexpected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
with regarded to rough the streets. In this situation, the national budget ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for improving the quality of roads or had more patrols at hot spots
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
prompt interventions.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
training courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be conducted
seriously
;
simultaneously
, it is essential that competitions of safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
need to
be organized
regularly
- an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cases of limited ability to operate vehicles.

It is a fact that road safety is always a top concern of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world,
especially
when the quantities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
have increased
significantly
in recent years.
That is
the rationale accounting for why one opinion of this worrying issue is to punish offenders
severely
,
yet
my perception is that there are more approaches to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that vehicle users can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
safety when moving on the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
streets


From what I have highlighted above, I can draw a conclusion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
investments in enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
infrastructure quality
as well
as preventive measures are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential. More
importantly
, educational programs of road safety
still
play a vital role in shaping travelling culture,
notably
encouraging all members in society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
abilities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts
  • 7band
    The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity
    It is quite a debatable issue on how to judge the performance of any person. Nowadays there is not only a single method to assess student performance. So some people argue that only final examinations are a good way to evaluate. They also believe continual assessment like a class presentation, proje...
  • 7band
    The diagram below shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable.
    It is a fact that watching movies and TV series have become one of daily life activities; moreover, it also influences human beings dramatically. While some people support that it causes harmful impactions on us, others agree that it keeps us well informed and provides useful messages for us. The es...
  • 7band
    The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity.
    It is irrefutable that today we are living in the modern era. Many individuals think that parks as well as sports areas are necessary in new developed areas rather than shopping places for people to spend their free time. I partly agree with this statement because, shopping centres are also essentia...
  • 7band
    The diagram below hows how salt is removed from sea water to make drinkable.
    In this time and age, an increasing number of far-sighted parents consider sending their children to additional classes with a view to enhancing their academic performance. While it is apparent that students can benefit from this approach, I am convinced that it may not be necessary. In this essay, ...


Recent posts