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Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after Other people disagree however saying that this depends on a child s circumstances Consider these opposing views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after Other people disagree however saying that this depends on a child s circumstances Consider these opposing views and give your own opinion v. 1
In this modern world of cut throat competition, where employees are burning their midnight oil to achieve organisational objectives, it is important to have a good personality and social skills. Although, a large number of organisations believe in having academical skills, whereas, at some work places Co curricular skills are given more importance. In this essay, we will discuss both sides of the coin before any conclusion can be drawn. Firstly, the quality of the work done by the employees is important for any organisation to achieve its long term goals and objectives. The employees should work towards the achievement of the organisational's objective. Also, this will boost their confidence and they can attract more work and good projects. It also helps them in improving their personal resume, so that they can look forward for better opportunities in the future. For example, recently I worked on a project for an IT company in the USA and I got promoted to the head office branch in the USA because of the quality of my work done for them. Secondly, the grading system in our country is outdated and obsolete. The evaluation of the employees is done on the basis of academic skills and hence, ignoring other work qualities. As a result, most of the people lack leadership and good communication skills. For example, without good communication skills, the people will always lack confidence in themselves. They are just running behind good incentives and bonus, without thinking that they represent their organisation. It is important for them to dress up nicely and represent their company's portfolio. Nowadays, customers are more attracted towards the flashy and shiny things because of the changing trend of showing off in front of others. In some of the businesses, it is very important to look attractive and to add glamour in the work stations. To conclude, it is irrefutable to say that it is important to show off in this competitive world. After analysing both the aspects, I am of the opinion that quality of work need to be improved in the organisations. Sometimes the most simple one's are the most intelligent one's. The esteemed organisation will be recognised by the quality of work they have done rather than how their employees are dressed up.
In this modern world of
'cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "cut-throat".
cut throat
competition, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are burning their midnight oil to achieve
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
objectives, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
personality and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Although,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
believe in having academical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, whereas, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places Co curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance. In this essay, we will discuss both sides of the coin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any conclusion can
be drawn
.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to achieve its long term goals and objectives. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
towards the achievement of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
's objective.
Also
, this will boost their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
confidence and
they can attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
projects. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in improving their personal resume,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can look forward for better opportunities in the future.
For example
, recently I worked on a project for an IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the USA and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
promoted to the head office branch in the USA
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done for them.

Secondly
, the grading system in our country
is outdated
and obsolete. The evaluation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is done
on the basis of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
hence
, ignoring other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
.
As a result
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lack leadership and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will always lack confidence in themselves. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
running behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
incentives and bonus, without thinking that they represent their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for them to dress up
nicely
and represent their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's portfolio. Nowadays, customers are more attracted towards the flashy and shiny things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the changing trend of showing off in front of others. In
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
businesses, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to look attractive and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
glamour in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
stations.

To conclude
, it is irrefutable to say that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in this competitive world. After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both the aspects, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
This adjective uses the short comparatives form.
the most simple
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
one's
are the most intelligent one's. The esteemed
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they have done
rather
than how their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are dressed
up.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after Other people disagree however saying that this depends on a child s circumstances Consider these opposing views and give your own opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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