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The diagram below hows how salt is removed from sea water to make drinkable. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The diagram below hows how salt is removed from sea water to make drinkable.
In this time and age, an increasing number of far-sighted parents consider sending their children to additional classes with a view to enhancing their academic performance. While it is apparent that students can benefit from this approach, I am convinced that it may not be necessary. In this essay, I shall discuss the merits and demerits of extra classes. It goes without saying that enrichment classes provide crucial advantages regarding academic outcome improvement and skills enhancement. To begin with, these classes offer learners an opportunity to consolidate the knowledge they gain at school and broaden their horizons. Weak students can fill the knowledge gap and reinforce what they have learnt in the school curriculum. Similarly, those who are in the advanced academic level or aspire to enrol in gifted schools may further boost their capacity with complex concepts and assignments. Another worth-noticing benefit of this method is that it promotes skills development. By attending supplementary classes in different domains, students can hone their soft skills such as communication and adaptability. Moreover, they can get specific training in a field that they are passionate about, which may be useful in future career paths. Accordingly, it may be inferred that attending extra classes may be prominently beneficial. Nonetheless, this methodology has its own downsides, including lack of relaxation and unnecessary pressure. In the first place, extra classes may deprive students of recreation. School curriculum is organised in such a way that is comprehensive and promotes well-rounded development. To that end, students should spend their free time doing leisure activities such as sports and reading so as to promote healthy growth. Another drawback worth mentioning is that students may suffer from tremendous stress. When their schedule is packed, they have no time to absorb knowledge; besides, strenuous studying may result in health problems such as insomnia, migraine or anxiety and depression. A research conducted by over 20 universities in the United States in 2018 shows that students who take more than four additional classes a week have worse physical and mental health than those who do not. Therefore, it could be implied that this approach may be counterproductive and may lead to undesirable results. All things considered, while taking extra classes is useful in terms of academic performance improvement and skills development, it might not be necessary due to lack of relaxation and unnecessary stress. I opine to the fact that children already have enough education at school and parents should deliberately consider their priorities prior to enrolling in extra classes.
In this time and age, an increasing number of far-sighted parents consider sending their children to additional
classes
with a view to enhancing their
academic
performance. While it is apparent that
students
can benefit from this approach, I
am convinced
that it may not be necessary. In this essay, I shall discuss the merits and demerits of
extra
classes.

It goes without saying that enrichment
classes
provide crucial advantages regarding
academic
outcome improvement and
skills
enhancement. To
begin
with, these
classes
offer learners an opportunity to consolidate the knowledge they gain at
school
and broaden their horizons. Weak
students
can fill the knowledge gap and reinforce what they have
learnt
in the
school
curriculum.
Similarly
, those who are in the advanced
academic
level or aspire to enrol in gifted
schools
may
further
boost their capacity with complex concepts and assignments. Another worth-noticing benefit of this method is that it promotes
skills
development. By attending supplementary
classes
in
different
domains,
students
can hone their soft
skills
such as communication and adaptability.
Moreover
, they can
get
specific training in a field that they are passionate about, which may be useful in future career paths.
Accordingly
, it may
be inferred
that attending
extra
classes
may be
prominently
beneficial.

Nonetheless, this methodology has its
own
downsides, including lack of relaxation and unnecessary pressure. In the
first
place,
extra
classes
may deprive
students
of recreation.
School
curriculum is
organised
in such a way
that is
comprehensive and promotes well-rounded development. To that
end
,
students
should spend their free time doing leisure activities such as sports and reading
so as to
promote healthy growth. Another drawback worth mentioning is that
students
may suffer from tremendous
stress
. When their schedule
is packed
, they have no time to absorb knowledge;
besides
, strenuous studying may result in health problems such as insomnia, migraine or anxiety and depression.
A research
conducted by over 20 universities in the United States in 2018
shows
that
students
who take more than four additional
classes
a week have worse physical and mental health than those who do not.
Therefore
, it could
be implied
that this approach may be counterproductive and may lead to undesirable results.

All things considered, while taking
extra
classes
is useful in terms of
academic
performance improvement and
skills
development, it might not be necessary due to lack of relaxation and unnecessary
stress
. I opine to the fact that children already have
enough
education at
school
and parents should
deliberately
consider their priorities prior to enrolling in
extra
classes
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram below hows how salt is removed from sea water to make drinkable.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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