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The diagram below shows the number of landline ownership telephones per 1000 people in different countries over a five-year period. v.1

The diagram below shows the number of landline ownership telephones per 1000 people in different countries over a five-year period. v. 1
Literature has been around for centuries and has always been considered vital for personal growth. However, there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that for building one's character, studying literature is important while the other considers it a wastage of time. On the one hand, gaining knowledge in literature increases intellectual capacity of a person as they are being exposed to a range of topics. In addition, with this new found knowledge, people also gain confidence which further helps them to build their character and is helpful for their career in the long run. For instance, a survey done by Cambridge University found that students who studied literature carried themselves with more confidence and calmness as compared to students who didn't study any literary texts. On the other hand, literature has often been related to writers and editors and therefore, some people hold the perception that it is apt solely for these occupations. Moreover, students often fail to develop an interest in it as it requires a lot of patience and time. Other than this, there are not many occupations these days that requires the use of literary knowledge, for this reason, people feel that they would benefit more by spending time in learning other subjects like science or mathematics which have a wider scope. To further support this, schools and colleges rarely focus on literature and urge students to divert their focus on subjects that will provide them more job opportunities in the future. In my opinion, studying literature is fundamental for personal growth as it helps in building self-confidence by providing knowledge and should not be deemed a waste of time. In conclusion, studying literature is indeed salient for individual prosperity, even though there is a school of thought that believes otherwise, we need it to understand the world in a better manner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Literature
has been around for centuries and has always
been considered
vital for personal growth.
However
, there are
predominantly
two contrasting views where a section of society
vehemently
deems that for building one's character, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
considers it a wastage of time.

On the one hand, gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
increases intellectual capacity of a person as they are
being exposed
to a range of topics.
In addition
, with this
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
new found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
gain confidence which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to build their character and is helpful for their career in the long run.
For instance
, a survey done by Cambridge University found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
carried themselves with more confidence and calmness as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who didn't study any literary texts.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
been related
to writers and editors and
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the perception that it is apt
solely
for these occupations.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fail to develop an interest in it as it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
patience and time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than this, there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
occupations these days that requires the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of literary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
for this reason
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that they would benefit more by spending time in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects like science or mathematics which have a wider scope. To
further
support this, schools and colleges rarely focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and urge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to divert their focus on subjects that will provide them more job opportunities in the future.

In my opinion, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
is fundamental for personal growth as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building self-confidence by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and should not
be deemed
a waste of time.

In conclusion
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
is
indeed
salient for individual prosperity,
even though
there is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that believes
otherwise
, we need it to understand the world in a better manner.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram below shows the number of landline ownership telephones per 1000 people in different countries over a five-year period. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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