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Describe a period of time in the history of your countrythat you are interested in. You should say: when it was; what happened during that period of time; who played an important role in this period of time; and explain why you are interested in this period of v.1

Describe a period of time in the history of your countrythat you are interested in. You should say: when it was; what happened during that period of time; who played an important role in this period of time; and explain why you are interested in this period of v. 1
ืNowadays, people seem interested to travel in advance places and danger locations like Desert or extremely areas as Antarcic for seeking exciting experience and explore new things that they are never found before. In this essay, I will discuss both of advantages and disadvantages. First of all, there are many benefits from visit these difficult areas. Travelling is provide people new experiences and not forgettable memorial to tourists as before, start these tour programs, they need to be preparing themselves to be ready to hard situations they might face without notice there, thus, the tourist who has well prepared will have strength body, healthy and strong mind ready for their trips. Secondary, when humans entry and explore to new locations, it is high chances to discover new things such as new beautiful locations where no one entry before. In additions, the are a lot of challenges. For instance, when the tourists are visiting the Antarctic, they have to face with freezing weather and will make their body temperate go down very fast. In other hands, there are some drawbacks of danger advance tourisms are risks to tourist life. For examples, first the tourist might have chances to get injured by poison animals as spiders or snakes bitten and there will not have serums or medicines to cure them in time which leads to serious bad injured or even make many tourists died. Besides, when the number of tourists tends to extremely increasing so the nature might be destroyed by people and created pollutions that impacts to animal life in that area. In conclusion, travelling to extreme locations is personal choices due to tourists styles as long as they can take care themselves as well and not bother with local nature.
Possible spelling mistake found.
ืNowadays
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem interested to travel in advance places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
like Desert or
extremely
areas as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antarcic
for seeking exciting experience and explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things that they are never found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In this essay, I will discuss both of advantages and disadvantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits from visit these difficult areas. Travelling is provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences and not forgettable memorial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
these tour programs, they need to be preparing themselves to be ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situations they might face without notice there,
thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
who has
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
will have strength body, healthy and strong mind ready for their trips. Secondary, when humans entry and explore to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
, it is high chances to discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
where no one entry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In additions,
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges.
For instance
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are visiting the Antarctic, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with freezing weather and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their body temperate go down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

In other hands, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
advance
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourisms
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
life. For examples,
first
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
might have chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured by poison animals as spiders or snakes bitten and there will not have serums or medicines to cure them in time which leads to serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
injured or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
.
Besides
, when the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
tends to
extremely
increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the nature might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and created pollutions that impacts to animal life in that area.

In conclusion
, travelling to extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
is personal choices due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
styles as long as they can take care themselves
as well
and not bother with local nature.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a period of time in the history of your countrythat you are interested in. You should say: when it was; what happened during that period of time; who played an important role in this period of time; and explain why you are interested in this period of v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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