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the charts compares the cars per 1000 people in 5 countries in Europe and the European average in 3 years. v.1

the charts compares the cars per 1000 people in 5 countries in Europe and the European average in 3 years. v. 1
Issues related to environmental problems are frequently discussed these days. It is generally accepted that the majority of farming fields are now transformed into modern shopping centres. Therefore, some problems and solutions for this issue will be discussed. The first problem to consider is that many lives of individuals are getting affected by the development of modern buildings. Decreasing farmland areas is one of the major problems affected many people's lives. This allows farmers cutting down their indirect financial process in terms of declining income. Hence, this increases expenses in their family due to the fact that they do not have enough money for payments. The possible solution to this issue is to maintain farming lands and develop agricultural products for raising earnings. Notably, people should conserve their own lands to create their innovative goods and export to the regional market. Consequently, they can boost their income and have a life sustainability. Another outstanding issue of concern is that a slumping of agricultural fields influences animal habitats. The reason for this is that many lands are transferred into commercial centres by human processes which cause devastating effects in animals. This possibly leads to imbalance ecosystem due to the reason that human actions destroy house of animals by deforestation. Thus, it raises the animal extinction rates and makes more detrimental effects in animals. The solution to tackle these problems is to increase maintenance of animals by the government rules. They should mainly be able to invent a strict rule for conserving animal species and against buying or selling agricultural products. As a result, these keep a sustainable environment to the world. In conclusion, it is acceptable that agricultural lands are changed into commercialized buildings by many human methods. However, we as a human should participate more on sustaining the lands to solve environmental problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Issues
related to environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
frequently
discussed these days. It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that the majority of farming fields are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
transformed into modern shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and solutions for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
will
be discussed
.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to consider is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of individuals are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the development of modern buildings. Decreasing farmland areas is one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
farmers cutting down their indirect financial process in terms of declining income.
Hence
, this increases expenses in their family due to the fact that they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for payments. The possible solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is to maintain farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
and develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
products for raising earnings.
Notably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should conserve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
to create their innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and export to the regional market.
Consequently
, they can boost their income and have a life sustainability.

Another outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of concern is that a slumping of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
fields influences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
habitats.
The reason for this is
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
are transferred
into commercial
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
processes which cause devastating effects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This
possibly
leads to imbalance ecosystem due to the reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by deforestation.
Thus
, it raises the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction rates and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more detrimental effects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The solution to tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is to increase maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. They should
mainly
be able to invent a strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
for conserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species and against buying or selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
products.
As a result
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a sustainable environment to the world.

In conclusion
, it is acceptable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
into commercialized buildings by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
methods.
However
, we as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should participate more on sustaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
to solve environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay the charts compares the cars per 1000 people in 5 countries in Europe and the European average in 3 years. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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