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The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken legally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning one language in the world? v.9

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken legally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning one language in the world? v. 9
English has become eminent globally due to advancement in the field of tourism. Advantages of having one language will end language barrier. However, other languages will extinct, ultimately, variety of cultures will end. Language is considered as a significant way of understanding others emotions and requirements. One spoken language all over the world will improve communication among nations, interaction of similar language overcomes the gap and leads to better understanding among peoples belonging to different ethnic backgrounds. To illustrate, my cousin, enjoyed his education in England, because of full command on English. This helped him, mingling and making friends in a new and strange environment. In addition, similar language strengthens the economy and flourishes tourism. For instance, a survey conducted by the department of tourism, Pakistan, revealed, nearly eighty percent of tourists were satisfied, as local vendors knew English. Subsequently a significant amount of revenue was generated by satisfaction of visitors. Therefore, implementation of one language, will produce positive impact by overcoming issues, such as, language barrier. Although, implementation of one language has positive outcomes in terms of economy, drawbacks of them cannot be denied. As it leads to extinction of various languages. Hence, diversity of cultures will be lost. the specific language of a country depicts its unique cultural heritage and history. As an illustration, Chinese is famous for its proverbs and idioms, many historical events of China are narrated in poetic form in their language. Which adds a uniqueness to their culture. Hence, implementing a single language has a negative impact on diverse cultures. To conclude, a single spoken language all over the world is advantageous in terms of improvising communication. However, it brings drawbacks, in the form of loss of diversity.
English has become eminent globally due to advancement in the field of tourism. Advantages of having one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will extinct,
ultimately
, variety of cultures will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Language
is considered
as a significant way of understanding others emotions and requirements. One spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
all over the world will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
communication among nations, interaction of similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
overcomes the gap and leads to better understanding among peoples belonging to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ethnic backgrounds. To illustrate, my cousin, enjoyed his education in England,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of full command on English. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him, mingling and making friends in a new and strange environment.
In addition
, similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
strengthens the economy and flourishes tourism.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the department of tourism, Pakistan, revealed,
nearly
eighty percent of tourists
were satisfied
, as local vendors knew English.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Subsequently
a significant amount of revenue
was generated
by satisfaction of visitors.
Therefore
, implementation of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, will produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact by overcoming issues, such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier.

Although, implementation of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes in terms of economy, drawbacks of them cannot
be denied
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it leads to extinction of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Hence
, diversity of cultures will
be lost
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of a country depicts its unique cultural heritage and history. As an illustration, Chinese is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its proverbs and idioms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of China
are narrated
in poetic form in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
a uniqueness to their culture.
Hence
, implementing a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on diverse cultures.

To conclude
, a single spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
all over the world is advantageous in terms of improvising communication.
However
, it brings drawbacks, in the form of loss of diversity.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken legally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning one language in the world? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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