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he development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken legally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning one lang v.1

he development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken legally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning one lang v. 1
IT IS OFTEN SAID BY SOME THAT CELLPHONES ARE THE MAIN CAUSE OF DISTANCE IN BETWEEN PEOPLE'S RELATIONSHIP. THIS ESSAY WILL TOTALLY COCURE WITH THE ABOVE IDEA OWNING TO SEVERAL REASONS. HENCE, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE MAJOR DETRIMENTAL IMMPECT OF THE TECHNOLOGY ON A PERSON'S PRIVATE LIFE AND SECONDLY, HOW THIS TECHNOLOGY ALSO GIVES THE PRIME BENEFITS TO THE TEENEGERS. ON THE ONE HAND, THE MAIN DEVASTATING EFFECT IS THAT IT HAS MADE A HUMAN LONELT PGYSICALLY. THIS LONLINESS RESULTS IN TO MENTAL DISTURBANCE. CONSEQUENTLY, HUMEN HAVE BEEN DIGNOSED AS A MENTALY ILL FOLKS. FOR EXAMPLE, THE MEDICAL RESEARCH CENTRE OF THE USA REVEALED THAT 80% OF PATIENTS IN THE MENTAL HOSPITALS ARE DUE TO THE LESS ACTUAL FRIENDS AVAILABLE DURIG THEIR WHOLE LIVELIHOOD. ON THE OTHER HAND, TECHNOLOGY HAS MADE INDIVIDUALS LIFE MORE INTERESTING AND ADVENTURIOUS BECAUSE OF VARIOUS GADGETS LIKE MOBILE PHONES. HENCE, WITH THE HELP OF MOBILE PHONE NOW JUVENILES CAN ABLE TO OBTAIN AN INFORMATION AROUND THE WORLD. AS A RESULT, OFFSPRINGS ARE NOW HAVE AN ENORMOUS KNOWLEDGE AND SMARTNESS THAN A DECADE AGO. THIS WOULD HELP THEM IN BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL CAREER. FOR INSTANCE, ACCORDING TO YOUTH DEPARTMENT OF THE AUSTRALIA, 70% OF THE ADOLESCENCES ARE HIGHLY VICTORIOUS AND OBTAINED A GREAT ACHOMPLISHMENTS IN THEIR YOUNGER AGE DUE TO THE NUMERIOUS TECHNOLOGY OPTIONS. IN CONCLUSION, VARIOUS TECHNOLOGY INDEED HAVE A PRECIOUS BENEFITS TO THE CHILDREN, NONETHLESS, ONE SHOULD NEVER IGNORE THE CONCEQUENCES OF THIS TECHNOLOGY THAT MIGHT HAVE ON PERSON'S WELLBEING. AS A HEALTH IS WEALTH. THEREFORE, PROPER GUIDANCE OF USING CELLPKONES OR OTHER INSTRUMENTS REQUIRE TO REDUCE THIS RISK AND SAVE THE YOUNGERS FROM IT.
IT IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OFTEN
SAID BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
THAT CELLPHONES ARE THE MAIN CAUSE OF DISTANCE IN BETWEEN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
'S RELATIONSHIP. THIS ESSAY WILL
TOTALLY
Possible spelling mistake found.
COCURE
WITH THE ABOVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IDEA
OWNING TO SEVERAL REASONS.
HENCE
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE MAJOR DETRIMENTAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
IMMPECT
OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
ON A PERSON'S PRIVATE LIFE AND
SECONDLY
, HOW THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
ALSO
GIVES THE PRIME BENEFITS TO THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
TEENEGERS
.

ON THE ONE HAND, THE MAIN DEVASTATING EFFECT IS THAT IT HAS MADE A HUMAN
Possible spelling mistake found.
LONELT
Possible spelling mistake found.
PGYSICALLY
. THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
LONLINESS
RESULTS IN TO MENTAL DISTURBANCE.
CONSEQUENTLY
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
HUMEN
HAVE BEEN
Possible spelling mistake found.
DIGNOSED
AS A
Possible spelling mistake found.
MENTALY
ILL FOLKS.
FOR EXAMPLE
, THE MEDICAL RESEARCH
Possible spelling mistake. 'CENTRE' is British English.
CENTRE
OF THE USA REVEALED THAT 80% OF PATIENTS IN THE MENTAL HOSPITALS ARE DUE TO THE LESS ACTUAL FRIENDS AVAILABLE
Possible spelling mistake found.
DURIG
THEIR WHOLE LIVELIHOOD.

ON THE OTHER HAND
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
HAS MADE INDIVIDUALS LIFE MORE INTERESTING AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADVENTURIOUS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF VARIOUS GADGETS LIKE MOBILE PHONES.
HENCE
, WITH THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
OF MOBILE PHONE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
JUVENILES
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
CAN ABLE TO
OBTAIN AN INFORMATION AROUND THE WORLD.
AS A RESULT
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
OFFSPRINGS
ARE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
HAVE
AN ENORMOUS KNOWLEDGE AND SMARTNESS THAN A DECADE AGO. THIS WOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
THEM IN BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL CAREER.
FOR INSTANCE
, ACCORDING TO YOUTH DEPARTMENT OF THE AUSTRALIA, 70% OF THE ADOLESCENCES ARE
HIGHLY
VICTORIOUS AND OBTAINED A GREAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACHOMPLISHMENTS
IN THEIR YOUNGER AGE DUE TO THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
NUMERIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
OPTIONS.

IN CONCLUSION
, VARIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
INDEED
HAVE A PRECIOUS BENEFITS TO THE CHILDREN,
Possible spelling mistake found.
NONETHLESS
, ONE SHOULD NEVER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IGNORE
THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONCEQUENCES
OF THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
THAT MIGHT HAVE ON PERSON'S
Possible spelling mistake found.
WELLBEING
. AS A HEALTH IS WEALTH.
THEREFORE
, PROPER GUIDANCE OF USING
Possible spelling mistake found.
CELLPKONES
OR OTHER INSTRUMENTS REQUIRE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCE
THIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RISK
AND SAVE THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
YOUNGERS
FROM IT.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay he development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken legally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning one lang v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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