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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v.13

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 13
The world consists of wide varieties of people with different mentalities. So, their choices regarding their careers also differ. Some professionals prefer being in the same Organisation throughout their working lives. Whereas, others prefer changing their jobs with time. Both decisions have their own advantages and disadvantages. It depends on the priorities, which one set in its life. The category of people who choose to not change the Organisation will develop better networks within comparatively. Moreover, they gain the trust of the Company, which in turn, help them to be on the priority list for most of the thing. Whereas, those people who prefer changing their jobs frequently give the reflections of unreliability. In addition to it, they are not able to form that much good network at their workplace because of the short term interaction. Organisational trust is questionable for such candidates. Sometimes, changing jobs from time to time helps in gaining vast areas of knowledge and it goes favourable with economical benefits also as there are so many companies who are ready to pay enough for outstanding skills and knowledge. But, if the person is staying in a same Organisation throughout the life, then economical growth is limited. Of course, employees can climb the ladder with a very high pace, but that is not the general case. In my view, it is better to stay in the same Organisation as clean and clear knowledge can be gained about the Organisation. And people under this group come in front in the list of most trustworthy candidates with good contacts in markets on which Organisations rely. Economical benefits can be achieved in this case too together with other benefits mentioned above, if the person is performing outstandingly.
The world consists of wide varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mentalities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, their choices regarding their careers
also
differ.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
professionals prefer being in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
throughout their working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others prefer changing their jobs with time. Both decisions have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages. It depends on the priorities, which one set in its life.

The category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
will develop better networks within
comparatively
.
Moreover
, they gain the trust of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
, which in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be on the priority list for most of the thing.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer changing their jobs
frequently
give the reflections of unreliability.
In addition
to it, they are not able to form that much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
network at their workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the short term interaction.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisational' is British English.
Organisational
trust is questionable for such candidates.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, changing jobs from time to time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in gaining vast areas of knowledge and it goes
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
with
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
benefits
also
as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
who are ready to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for outstanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if the person is staying in a same
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
throughout the life, then
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth
is limited
.
Of course
, employees can climb the ladder with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high pace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is
not the general case.

In my view, it is better to stay in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
as clean and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
knowledge can
be gained
about the
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under this group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
The usual preposition for "in front" is "of". Did you mean "in front of"?
in front in
the list of most trustworthy candidates with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
contacts in markets on which
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisations' is British English.
Organisations
rely.
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
Economical
benefits can
be achieved
in this case
too together with other benefits mentioned above, if the person is performing
outstandingly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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