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the crime rate nowadays is decreasing comapred to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. do you agree or disagree v.2

the crime rate nowadays is decreasing comapred to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. v. 2
In the present world, technology is being used everywhere. Not only new gadgets being used in our personal life, but also in all sectors of social system. Many crimes are prevented and solved due to advanced systems. Day by day new softwares, applications and hardwares are coming they are very helpful to reduce theft, robbery and social crimes. So, It is agreed that advance technology reduces illegal activities and make social life better. Let's look at the few softwares, which are helpful to nab the criminals. First, "Amber alert system" In Canada, we must have seen this alert many times on TV and mobile phones. This becomes very useful when any child goes missing or any criminal is absconding. The Police Department uses this program and generate alerts, which flashes on cell phones and "Tele Vision". Due to this alert, people become aware. Most of the times, child found and running criminal caught. Now, few hardwares, those are used by some departments. "Fake currency detector" is one of them, this machine is very useful to catch the counterfeit bills. In the recent past, we hear many times fake currency news. This can destabilize the financial system of any country. So, this machine is very helpful. Earlier this was used in banks only, but now we can see that this machine is being used by some people. These are just a few examples, which I explained. There is a long list. In earlier days, without these advanced systems, crime was also prevented, but not compared to present time. These mature gadgets and computer programs have taken important space in all parts of social life and institutions and helping society to become crime free. I hope, in the future this will become so advanced that crime will be prevented before it's committed.
In the present world, technology is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
everywhere. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
new gadgets being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in our personal life,
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but
also
in all sectors of
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social
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system
.
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Many
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crimes
are
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prevented
and solved due to advanced
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systems
. Day by day new
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softwares
, applications and
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hardwares
are coming they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
theft, robbery and
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social
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crimes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that advance technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
illegal activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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social
life better.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's look at the few
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
, which are helpful to nab the criminals.
First
,
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"
Amber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alert
system
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
In Canada, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
this
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alert
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many
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times
on TV and mobile phones. This
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becomes
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very
useful when any child goes missing or any criminal is absconding. The Police Department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
this program and generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alerts
, which flashes on cell phones and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tele
Vision
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Due to this
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alert
,
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people
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become
aware. Most of the
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times
, child found and running criminal caught.

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Now
, few
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwares
, those are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
departments.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Fake currency detector
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is one of them, this machine is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to catch the counterfeit bills. In the recent past, we hear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
fake currency news. This can destabilize the financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of any country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this machine is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful. Earlier this was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in banks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this machine is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

These are
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just
a few examples, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
. There is a long list. In earlier days, without these advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not compared to present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. These mature gadgets and computer programs have taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
space in all parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life and institutions and helping society to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
free. I hope, in the future this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it's committed.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay the crime rate nowadays is decreasing comapred to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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