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The cost of medical healthcare are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or it is better to v.1

The cost of medical healthcare are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or it is better to v. 1
Sending the lawbreakers into confinement is an obligation for some people, while others argue that it is better to employ the capable people among them. In this essay, both very topical debates would be investigated as well as a deep reason. The proponents of this perspective are extremely encouraging to send the offenders to jail. Firstly, having them to be punished in prison would be right punishment, even though some of them have a great potential. In fact, if the law enforcement gives them a chance to explore their capabilities, they also could have a creative way to do a criminal. Moreover, arresting them would be a good time for them to heal minds for introspecting from their mistakes. On the contrary, if they are given a chance to explore their talents, they could not have the opportunity to realize on their fault. Ultimately, there is no need compensation of sanction for the lawbreakers. This would be a great deal for the state to decrease the number of criminals. However, the opponents are disappointed to transfer them to the prison. First and foremost, the offender should take responsibility which is related to kind of mistake they made. As usual, the well-known retribution to do for them is about sending into lockup, yet there are other beneficial ways of punishing the trespasser. Those talented people could be contributing more for several aspects to the nation instead of staying calm in the jail. Furthermore, the policy maker could punish them through employing them without wage in certain period and area. Then, the government would have great advantages for those people. By way of conclusion, the advocates said that the right punishment for lawbreakers is by transferring them to the penitentiary, but some people agree to say that it would be effective discipline to employ the talented offenders for keeping contributing to the nation. As I would state that the wrong people should be allocated in jail, though they have great talents, there is no dispensation for doing punishment.
Sending the lawbreakers into confinement is an obligation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while others argue that it is better to employ the capable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
among them. In this essay, both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
topical debates would
be investigated
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
a deep reason.

The proponents of this perspective are
extremely
encouraging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the offenders to jail.
Firstly
, having them to
be punished
in prison would be right punishment,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
potential. In fact, if the law enforcement gives them a chance to explore their capabilities, they
also
could have a creative way to do a criminal.
Moreover
, arresting them would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time for them to heal minds for introspecting from their mistakes.
On the contrary
, if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to explore their talents, they could not have the opportunity to realize on their fault.
Ultimately
, there is no need compensation of sanction for the lawbreakers. This would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
deal for the state to decrease the number of criminals.

However
, the opponents
are disappointed
to transfer them to the prison.
First
and foremost, the offender should take responsibility which
is related
to kind of mistake they made. As usual, the well-known retribution to do for them is about sending into lockup,
yet
there are other beneficial ways of punishing the trespasser. Those talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be contributing more for several aspects to the nation
instead
of staying calm in the jail.
Furthermore
, the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy maker
could punish them through employing them without wage in certain period and area. Then, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
advantages for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

By way of conclusion, the advocates said that the right punishment for lawbreakers is by transferring them to the penitentiary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to say that it would be effective discipline to employ the talented offenders for keeping contributing to the nation. As I would state that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be allocated
in jail, though they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
talents, there is no dispensation for doing punishment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The cost of medical healthcare are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or it is better to v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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