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The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all? v.5

The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all? v. 5
A health care system is a very important part of a country as it is a key factor for the developed countries. Some countries take the responsibility of the citizen's health and provide free medical care whereas other countries think it is an individual’s responsibility. I would support the second opinion as I believe that the health insurance is affordable and it helps to get the better services. "Nothing is free in this world", this saying is true when it comes to free medical services. Though some countries provide free medical facilities, they indirectly get that money from civilians via tax. For instance, in Australia the health service is completely free, however, the income tax is as high as 35%. On the other hand, the insurance could be economical. For example, a person is earning a thousand dollars a week can afford 50 dollars for the insurance premium. Moreover, if the income increases, it is not mandatory that the premium would also increase. It is understood that some people might not be able to afford health expenses. However, due to growing competition between insurance companies, many affordable plans are available in the market. It could be argued that if an individual has to pay for his health, he can ignore it and that could result in an unhealthy nation in long-run. However, a free service could encourage the unnecessary visits as well. It is certainly an individual's responsibility to take care of his own health. Moreover, if hospitals have only those patients who are unwell then they could provide better service. For example, when a hospital has one hundred patients out of which only thirty patients are sick, hospitals still has to spend a considerable amount of time with other seventy patients. Patients who are actually sick could receive a far better service and attention if the remaining seventy could be eliminated. I believe a government could focus more on other areas like infrastructure development where individual cannot contribute. Health care issue could be taken care by people with the help of insurance and better lifestyle.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as it is a key factor for the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
take the responsibility of the citizen's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is an individual’s responsibility. I would support the second opinion as I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
is affordable and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
services.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Nothing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
in this world
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, this saying is true when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical facilities, they
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that money from civilians via tax.
For instance
, in Australia the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
,
however
, the income tax is as high as 35%. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
could be economical.
For example
, a person is earning a thousand dollars a week can afford 50 dollars for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
premium.
Moreover
, if the income increases, it is not mandatory that the premium would
also
increase. It
is understood
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might not be able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
expenses.
However
, due to growing competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
affordable plans are available in the market.

It could
be argued
that if an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
it and that could result in an unhealthy nation in long-run.
However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
could encourage the unnecessary visits
as well
. It is
certainly
an individual's responsibility to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
, if hospitals have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
who are unwell then they could provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
.
For example
, when a hospital has one hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
out of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thirty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
are sick, hospitals
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend a considerable amount of time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
seventy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Patients
who are actually sick could receive a far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and attention if the remaining seventy could
be eliminated
.

I believe a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas like infrastructure development where individual cannot contribute.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
issue could
be taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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