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The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. v.8

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. v. 8
In today’s modern world, the world’s population has risen continually until it has become the biggest problem faced by humanity. The essay will examine the reasons for this rise. Global population has increased considerably may be due to several causes. To begin, increased life expectancy in the twenty-first century allows people nowadays to live longer. A recent research has shown that people these days are more long-lived than people in the past. This may be mainly due to the advanced technology used in medical fields which are able to cure and prevent the diseases that are previously untreatable. On the other hand, people these days are more educated which allows them to secure a decent position in a company with a high paid. In other words, they have no financial problems and therefore able to have more children. I agree that the continued rise in global population is the largest problem faced by government. This is because people live in the third world countries may be facing problems like poverty. There may be no sufficient resources to meet their demands which may eventually lead to more starvation. Besides, the increased global population will probably cause the disease to spread easily. The more crowded the population is, the more easily spread the disease, especially those air-borne diseases. In conclusion, the increase in the world’s population is caused by numerous factors and I strongly agree that it is the biggest problem we are facing now. However, I believe there are a handful of possible measures which the governments can take to tackle this problem and mitigate against the possible negative impacts on our lives.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has risen
continually
until it has become the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
faced by humanity. The essay will examine the reasons for this rise.

Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has increased
considerably
may be due to several causes. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, increased life expectancy in the twenty-
first
century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. A recent research has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days are more long-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past. This may be
mainly
due to the advanced technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in medical fields which are able to cure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the diseases that are previously untreatable.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days are more educated which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to secure a decent position in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with a high paid.
In other words
, they have no financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
therefore
able to have more children.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the continued rise in global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
faced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
countries may be facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like poverty. There may be no sufficient resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demands which may
eventually
lead to more starvation.
Besides
, the increased global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
probably
cause the disease to spread
easily
. The more crowded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is, the more
easily
spread the disease,
especially
those air-borne diseases.

In conclusion
, the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is caused
by numerous factors and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
we are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
However
, I believe there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of possible measures which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can take to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and mitigate against the possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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