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Many people nowadays work from home and this has been possible mainly because of the advancement of computer and internet technology. v.2

Many people nowadays work from home and this has been possible mainly because of the advancement of computer and internet technology. v. 2
As the development of technology, working from home is not uncommon phenomenon nowadays. It is a trend of future working mode with both positive and negative effects. From the positive perspective, it does benefit to the work-life balance. For example, employees do not have to spend their time on shuttling between their office and home. The saved time can be spent on their work or taking care of their families. Therefore, the pressure of their work and personal life can be alleviated to a certain extent. Another advantage is the flexible working hour which is conducive to staff's efficiency. It is more reasonable to arrange different kinds of work on different time section. Furthermore, conducting meetings with the customer from different time zone has become more realistic by this practice. Form the negative perspective, the staff management is a big challenge to many companies. As staff remote to work from home, their managers cannot monitor what they are doing during the working hours. It would cause the lack of effective control and management to their staff. It would greatly impact on the normal run of a company and it is a great waste of human resource which is the last result employers would like to see. However, this concern can be address by utilising some technology or measures. For instance, the company can install the monitoring software in their staff's laptop to oversee working situations, such as, what software they use and which websites they are browsing during working hours. Furthermore, the strict management measure is a key too. Managers should conduct an effective communication with their staff and estimate the appropriate volume of work for the staff so as to ensure they are reasonably occupied by their work. To sum up, working from home is good for work-life balance and the work efficiency. Nevertheless, it is necessary for employers to take effective measures to ensure employees to be under a good management, such as, installing monitoring software and assigning the reasonable volume of work to their staff.
As the development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is not uncommon phenomenon nowadays. It is a trend of future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
mode with both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

From the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
perspective, it does benefit to the work-life balance.
For example
, employees do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on shuttling between their office and home. The saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
be spent
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or taking care of their families.
Therefore
, the pressure of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal life can
be alleviated
to a certain extent. Another advantage is the flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hour which is conducive to staff's efficiency. It is more reasonable to arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
section.
Furthermore
, conducting meetings with the customer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
zone has become more realistic by this practice.

Form the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
perspective, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenge to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
remote to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, their managers cannot monitor what they are doing during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours. It would cause the lack of effective control and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
. It would
greatly
impact on the normal run of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and it is a great waste of human resource which is the last result employers would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
However
, this concern can be address by
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technology or measures.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can install the monitoring software in their staff's laptop to oversee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
situations, such as, what software they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and which websites they are browsing during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours.
Furthermore
, the strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
measure is a key too. Managers should conduct an effective communication with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
and estimate the appropriate volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
ensure they are
reasonably
occupied by their work.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for work-life balance and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiency.
Nevertheless
, it is necessary for employers to take effective measures to ensure employees to be under a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
, such as, installing monitoring software and assigning the reasonable volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people nowadays work from home and this has been possible mainly because of the advancement of computer and internet technology. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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