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The claim that animals have rights has been subjected as a matter of debate since the 1970’s. Are zoos helping or hurting our animals? Should zoos be banned? v.2

The claim that animals have rights has been subjected as a matter of debate since the 1970’s. Are zoos helping or hurting our animals? Should zoos be banned? v. 2
Since 1970' s it is an important issue to discuss about animal rights. Some people say they have freedom like us, so we need to consider of their emotion and feeling. some of them say animals are danger to human life, so they s be banded in zoos. In my view sometimes zoos protect animals but they hurt by limitation of the place where they have been restricted. In zoos, animal welfare teams are trying to protect the animals but people think they are hurting animals. The purpose of welfare team is to safeguard the animals and providing medical treatment. For instance, recently national geography magazine released, animal welfare team in Chennai they protect the deer from public disturbance. On another hand, people want zoo to be banned in nation because their freedom is restricted by the limitation of certain area itself. So, they felt bad and make them frustration and depressed feel, from that emotion they could not retrieve. In conclusion, in this debate is not for ban or not ban. I think it is all concerning for safeguard animals from this cruel environment. According, to the study zoos are more helpful to survey peaceful life.
Since 1970' s it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue to discuss about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say they have freedom like us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we need to consider of their emotion and feeling.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
of them say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to human life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they s
be banded
in zoos. In my view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
zoos protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they hurt by limitation of the place where they have
been restricted
.

In zoos,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
welfare teams are trying to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are hurting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The purpose of welfare team is to safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and providing medical treatment.
For instance
, recently national geography magazine released,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
welfare team in Chennai they protect the deer from public disturbance.

On another hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want zoo to
be banned
in nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their freedom
is restricted
by the limitation of certain area itself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they felt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them frustration and depressed feel, from that emotion they could not retrieve.

In conclusion
, in this debate is not for ban or not ban. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is all concerning for safeguard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from this cruel environment. According, to the study zoos are more helpful to survey peaceful life.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay The claim that animals have rights has been subjected as a matter of debate since the 1970’s. Are zoos helping or hurting our animals? Should zoos be banned? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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