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People who in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tracked? v.1

People who in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tracked? v. 1
Recently, I read an article about benefits of living in mega cities. However, the author also lists numerous difficulties that citizens encounter every day. In this essay, I will consider the list substantial complications and propose some possible solutions. Let us start with problems that people face in urban areas. The first unpleasant situation is that city dwellers frequently get stuck in traffic congestions. Traffic jams, that happen daily, can create much discomfort to drivers in cities, because they waste many hours being blocked by other cars on the road. Another difficulty is that polluted air cause plenty of diseases. A large number of people in cities suffer from, for example, asthma, since the air contains a great deal of pollutants stemming from both exhaust gases and toxic fumes. Therefore, after analyzing it is clear that life in urban regions is challenging. Nevertheless, some social workers state that these complications can be dealt with, if people take the following steps. Firstly, authorities should widen narrow roads. The way forward could be for officials to organize the work aiming to increase the bandwidth of roads with frequent traffic jams, so that people face jams on the roads. Secondly, the government should force cars as well as manufacturers to install filters. This problem can be addressed, if the government makes car and plant owners to equipment intended to stop particles from contaminating the atmosphere. As a result, after analyzing, it is obvious that these problems can be solved. In conclusion, although there are many complications that citizens deal with every day, I think that they are solvable, if officials adopt the advice mentioned measures.
Recently, I read an article about benefits of living in mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, the author
also
lists numerous difficulties that citizens encounter every day. In this essay, I will consider the list substantial complications and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face in urban areas. The
first
unpleasant situation is that city dwellers
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck in traffic congestions. Traffic jams, that happen daily, can create much discomfort to drivers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours
being blocked
by other cars on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. Another difficulty is that polluted air cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of diseases.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
suffer from,
for example
, asthma, since the air contains a great deal of pollutants stemming from both exhaust gases and toxic fumes.
Therefore
, after analyzing it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that life in urban regions is challenging.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social workers state that these complications can
be dealt
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take the following steps.
Firstly
, authorities should widen narrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. The way forward could be for officials to organize the work aiming to increase the bandwidth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
with frequent traffic jams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face jams on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should force cars
as well
as manufacturers to install filters. This problem can
be addressed
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
car and plant owners to equipment intended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
particles from contaminating the atmosphere.
As a result
, after analyzing, it is obvious that these problems can
be solved
.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
complications that citizens deal with every day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are solvable, if officials adopt the advice mentioned measures.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People who in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tracked? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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