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The civic centre will be planned to change. There are two maps: one is the existing and the other is the plan for new. v.1

The civic centre will be planned to change. There are two maps: one is the existing and the other is the plan for new. v. 1
It is universally acknowledged that every successful businessman has lots of responsibilities. Nowadays, the majority of people are doing social services to improve the image of their country. Well, I vehemently agree with the above said notion. To begin with, there are multifarious viewpoints to support my belief. Firstly, in this modern scenario the businessman is educated and contributing 10 percent of the shares for social works. For example, investing money in the areas where the development is in slow progress. This can be the result of better transportation system, high quality education, so on. Secondly, the majority of business people are giving their shares in charities that are helping various people in treating diseases which are not treated due to lack of money. For instance, cancer, tumour, so on. Last but not least, when a country suffers from low gross development progress, then traders are the one who comes in front same as helping hand of legislatives. Hence, traders are providing money to banks and by providing jobs to the masses who have lost their job due to economic crisis in companies. In addition to this, nowadays all multinational companies are following the saying that ''Say no to polythenes''. However, a large number of industries have banned the poly bags to save planet Earth, therefore, due to this global warming ratio has been declining, whereas from this decision numerous animals are saved because when animals graze poly bags instead of grass they are dying within 2 to 3 days. Although, in any type of work, family does not matter. Lets take an example, Bill gates founder of Microsoft his one day net worth is 2000 million dollars while he is providing 90 percent of his salary to charities and legislatives across the world to provide their Denizens comfort and peace. In conclusion, although companies should prioritise the need to make profits, I believe they should also have social responsibilities.
It is
universally
acknowledged that every successful businessman has lots of responsibilities. Nowadays, the majority of
people
are doing social services to
improve
the image of their country. Well, I
vehemently
agree
with the above said notion.

To
begin
with, there are multifarious viewpoints to support my belief.
Firstly
, in this modern scenario the businessman
is educated
and contributing 10 percent of the shares for social works.
For example
, investing money in the areas where the development is in slow progress. This can be the result of better transportation system, high quality education,
so
on.
Secondly
, the majority of business
people
are giving their shares in charities that are helping various
people
in treating diseases which are not treated due to lack of money.
For instance
, cancer,
tumour
,
so
on. Last
but
not least, when a country suffers from low gross development progress, then traders are the one who
comes
in front same as helping hand of
legislatives
.
Hence
, traders are providing money to banks and by providing jobs to the masses who have lost their job due to economic crisis in
companies
.

In addition
to this, nowadays all multinational
companies
are following the saying that ''Say no to
polythenes
''.
However
,
a large number of
industries have banned the
poly
bags to save planet Earth,
therefore
, due to this global warming ratio has been declining, whereas from this decision numerous animals
are saved
because
when animals graze
poly
bags
instead
of grass they are dying within 2 to 3 days. Although, in any type of work, family does not matter.
Lets
take an example,
Bill gates
founder of Microsoft his
one day
net worth is 2000 million dollars while he is providing 90 percent of his salary to charities and
legislatives
across the world to provide their Denizens comfort and peace.

In conclusion
, although
companies
should
prioritise
the need to
make
profits, I believe they should
also
have social responsibilities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The civic centre will be planned to change. There are two maps: one is the existing and the other is the plan for new. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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