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Two images are shown which shows the Islip town centre at present and the other is the planned development or the same. Write description by selecting relevant features and make comparisons where necessary. v.1

Two images are shown which shows the Islip town centre at present and the other is the planned development or the same. Write description by selecting relevant features and make comparisons where necessary. v. 1
Most of the undergraduates are applying for the jobs at the same time they are studying. Although they should concentrate on studying, Universities cost considerably expensive amount of money, so that they have to work in order to pay for their education or feel self-determinative in financial side. This essay will discuss the reason why this is happening and put forward several solutions for this issue. First and foremost, students are working when they are studying because of the education fees. Put simply, a job is the only way for them to pay for their learnings while it costs a lot of funds to contemplate in any of the Universities. For instance, although some undergraduates have possibility to pay that money, others are not able to, so that people with low financial condition have to work in order to keep remain in their institutions. In sum, while some students helpless with covering their contract they defray accounting for and being employers which can result to feel them stressful and busy for their studies. The secondary reason why most of the students are working while studying is in independence in their activities. More and more undergrads have been thinking about their own amassed funds when they were applying to the Universities, whereas they earn their currency of their own individual choice of occupations. Since they will start to be separated, they will not have necessarily in financial support from parents. Independent students want to operate in order to have their own cash, but also to study by hard. Despite the rapid change in the effectiveness of learning a varsity subjects and busyness on a big amount of undergrad whilst schooling is in process, Universities should give scholarships for financially unsupported students which can be available for those who have special formation skills. Besides, they should recommend a work place for independent pupils for their specialization with little job time. These solutions will not only aback undergraduates to efficient study, but also help them hold by one way. In conclusion, most of the certain learners in varsities are more diverse to make money rather than getting knowledge, this interruption is the consequence of fund stringency and freedom of choosing performances. The best solution for that is both set them to right operation and add some different scholarships, which can retrieve them to effective education.
Most of the undergraduates are applying for the jobs at the same time they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. Although they should concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
cost
considerably
expensive amount of money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work in order to pay for their education or feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-determinative
in financial side. This essay will discuss the reason why this is happening and put forward several solutions for this issue.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are working when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the education fees. Put
simply
, a job is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for them to pay for their learnings while it costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
funds to contemplate in any of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
.
For instance
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undergraduates have possibility to pay that money, others are not able to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with low financial condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
remain in their institutions. In sum, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
helpless with covering their contract they defray accounting for and being employers which can result to feel them stressful and busy for their studies.

The secondary reason why most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are working while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
is in independence in their activities. More and more undergrads have been thinking about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
amassed funds when they were applying to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
, whereas they earn their currency of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
individual choice of occupations. Since they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
be separated
, they will not have
necessarily
in financial support from parents. Independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to operate in order to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cash,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to study by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

Despite the rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the effectiveness of learning a varsity subjects and busyness on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of undergrad whilst schooling is in process,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
should give scholarships for
financially
unsupported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which can be available for those who have special formation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Besides
, they should recommend a work place for independent pupils for their specialization with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
job time. These solutions will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
aback undergraduates to efficient study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them hold by one way.

In conclusion
, most of the certain learners in varsities are more diverse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money
rather
than getting knowledge, this interruption is the consequence of fund stringency and freedom of choosing performances. The best solution for
that is
both set them to right operation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scholarships, which can retrieve them to effective education.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Two images are shown which shows the Islip town centre at present and the other is the planned development or the same. Write description by selecting relevant features and make comparisons where necessary. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
392 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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