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The charts show the percentage of British students at one university in England who are able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. v.1

The charts show the percentage of British students at one university in England who are able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. v. 1
In the current scenario, there has been a trend where peoples are migrating to various countries. The increasing migration is due to multifarious causes which can have diverse effects on both the individual and country. This essay will discuss the major causes and effects of migration. Primarily, people from the underdeveloped countries prefer to move to the developed nations for better education for their children and the higher standard of living for the whole family, furthermore, living in a wealthy country implies living in a country with a stable economy, for instance, a handful of people from India and Pakistan are seen migrating to the United States and Australia to seek better opportunities, to earn more and live a luxurious life. However, there is a downside to immigration. Overcrowding is the major drawback which leads to several other issues like lack of employment opportunities for the native residents and scarcity of resources. Additionally, migration of people to other countries leads to lesser professional people in the home country, thereby affecting the literacy rate of the country. This in turn causes the overall growth of the nation to deplete, a recent study has been concluded that migration causes greater gender imbalance as its typically men who seeks to find better employment elsewhere. To conclude, migration has a wide impact on the society which is irrevocable. Besides, the immigration may provide the global connectivity and exposure, it does have a harmful effect on the society, making it economically weak and difficult in terms of a country's growth aspects.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, there has been a trend where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are migrating to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
is due to multifarious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
which can have diverse effects on both the individual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will discuss the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and effects of migration.

Primarily
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the developed nations for better education for their children and the higher standard of living for the whole family,
furthermore
, living in a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
implies living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a stable economy,
for instance
, a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from India and Pakistan are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
migrating to the United States and Australia to seek better opportunities, to earn more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a luxurious life.

However
, there is a downside to immigration. Overcrowding is the major drawback which leads to several other issues like lack of employment opportunities for the native residents and scarcity of resources.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
leads to lesser professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, thereby affecting the literacy rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This in turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the
overall
growth of the nation to deplete, a recent study has
been concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
greater gender imbalance as its
typically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who
Did you mean "seek"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'men' should be used.
seeks
to find better employment elsewhere.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
has a wide impact on the society which is irrevocable.
Besides
, the immigration may provide the global connectivity and exposure, it does have a harmful effect on the society, making it
economically
weak and difficult in terms of a country's growth aspects.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts show the percentage of British students at one university in England who are able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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