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The charts below show the proportion of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison v.1

The charts below show the proportion of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
These day's masses prefer to utilize mobile phones more for texting and messaging, rather than using it for verbal communication that is calling. There are numerous factors which lead to this change in usage of cellular phones. However, I believe that it is more a negative development and have huge drawbacks. Pitching into the first area of discussion, the predominant causes for opting text messages over calls are busy work schedule and convenience. Everybody is having extremely hectic jobs nowadays. Due to increase in competition individuals have to carve the niche foe the proper development and growth of their career. Many a times it happens that there is a lack of time to talk over the phone, whereas messages can be sent easily and can be seen by the other person whenever they have free time. Apart from this, because of advancement of technology, It became extremely easy to communicate by texting. For example, applications like Watsapp and Facebook messenger has made sending text more interactive and convenient. Therefore, folks are choosing to text because it can be sent in a blink of an eye and have advanced features. Despite of the popular usage of cellular phones for texting over talking. There are various factors which asserts that it has more demerits than merits. Firstly, the real communication is missing. In order to nurture love and understanding among close relations. Effective communication is vital, which is possible only when one will have deep conversation which is impossible over text messages. Secondly, this written messages are usually typed in slang or short language, which ultimately leads to the development of poor language skills among youth. Lastly, in few cases, text messaging results to improper communication. In other words, there is wrong interpretation of the message by the reader, which turns to confusion and misunderstanding, as result disputes arises. Hence preferring text messages over calls leads to lack of proper interaction among people's. In conclusion, In conclusion, unequivocally individuals are using phones more for messaging when compared to calling, but this trend will hinder the conventional way of communication and have adverse effects.
Did you mean "this day" or "These days"?
These day
's masses prefer to utilize mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
more for texting and messaging,
rather
than using it for verbal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
that is
calling. There are numerous factors which lead to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in usage of cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
However
, I believe that it is more a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development and have huge drawbacks.

Pitching into the
first
area of discussion, the predominant causes for opting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
calls are busy work schedule and convenience. Everybody is having
extremely
hectic jobs nowadays. Due to increase in competition individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carve the niche foe the proper development and growth of their career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
it happens that there is a lack of time to talk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
easily
and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the other person whenever they have free time. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advancement of technology, It became
extremely
easy to communicate by texting.
For example
, applications like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Watsapp
and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Facebook messenger
has made sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
more interactive and convenient.
Therefore
, folks are choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
in a blink of an eye and have advanced features.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the popular usage of cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for texting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
talking. There are various factors which asserts that it has more demerits than merits.
Firstly
, the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is missing. In order to nurture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and understanding among close relations. Effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is vital, which is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when one will have deep conversation which is impossible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
.
Secondly
, this written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
are
usually
typed in slang or short language, which
ultimately
leads to the development of poor language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
among youth.
Lastly
, in few cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging results to improper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
In other words
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
interpretation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
by the reader, which turns to confusion and misunderstanding, as result disputes arises.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
calls leads to lack of proper interaction among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's.

In conclusion
,
In conclusion
,
unequivocally
individuals are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
more for messaging when compared to calling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend will hinder the conventional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and have adverse effects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show the proportion of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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