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Workers are more satisfied when they have many different task to do during the workday than when they dpo similar task all day long. v.1

Workers are more satisfied when they have many different task to do during the workday than when they dpo similar task all day long. v. 1
Healthcare is one of the prime services of any country across the globe to provide medical treatments free of costs to its citizens, but, critical treatments that can be cured with the aid of modern technologies cannot be provided free, as it involves huge costs associated with them. I largely agree with the view. Firstly, in many developing nations, where even poorer of poorer cannot have the basic amenities of life, providing health care support without any charge, is a huge relief to the people of that nation, which otherwise would have died due to the lack of funds. Thus, money saved can be used to meet the basic day to day needs. For example, in India, the Delhi government is giving free medical facilities to the people, wherein they consult a doctor freely and get medicines at no cost, these initiatives drastically reduced the number of the deaths in the city due to lack of money Secondly, the old age people, who are dependent on their pension and spent money mostly on their medicines, will benefit greatly from this initiative, enabling them to save their monthly medical bills and enjoy their old age in a better way. Lastly, although, providing free medical facilities is a good initiative, but it should be limited to some of the medical treatments, for treatment of critical health issues, instead of providing treatment at no cost, authorities should provide a subsidy, as huge cost is involved in these treatments. To sum up, the healthcare is the backbone of any country across the world and agencies should ensure that these should be available free and for health emergency of critical nature, government should provide aid in the form of subsidy.
Healthcare is one of the prime services of any country across the globe to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
to its citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
that can
be cured
with the aid of modern technologies cannot
be provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, as it involves huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
associated with them. I
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view.

Firstly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing nations, where even poorer of poorer cannot have the basic amenities of life, providing health care support without any charge, is a huge relief to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of that nation, which
otherwise
would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
due to the lack of funds.
Thus
, money saved can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
needs.
For example
, in India, the Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, wherein they consult a doctor
freely
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medicines at no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, these initiatives
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the number of the deaths in the city due to lack of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
money


Secondly
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who are dependent on their pension and spent money
mostly
on their medicines, will benefit
greatly
from this initiative, enabling them to save their monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
bills and enjoy their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age in a better way.

Lastly
, although, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
initiative,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be limited
to
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of critical health issues,
instead
of providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
at no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, authorities should provide a subsidy, as huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
is involved
in these treatments.

To sum up, the healthcare is the backbone of any country across the world and agencies should ensure that these should be available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and for health emergency of critical nature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide aid in the form of subsidy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Workers are more satisfied when they have many different task to do during the workday than when they dpo similar task all day long. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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