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Physical activity is the best way to keep a healthy body and a healthy mind Do you believe this Do you practice a physical activity If you do what and why If not why v.1

Physical activity is the best way to keep a healthy body and a healthy mind Do you believe this Do you practice a physical activity If you do what and why If not why v. 1
Although it is becoming a popular opinion that animals should not be used by individual, and that they should possess the same right as a person. Some people believe that employing wildlife for the satisfaction of their plethora needs such as feeding and conducting researches is a must. In my opinion, I agree that animals can be used by humans to their satisfaction; hence, this essay will discuss both views. Proponents of the view that animals should be used for human satisfaction believe so, because it has been the norm for centuries. This means that our forefathers had always made use of animals for food, as they are a great source of protein, which is an essential nutrient require by humans, to stay healthy. To illustrate, ancestors were mainly hunters by profession, they hunted animals as a source of food and livelihood; thus, they passed-on these practices to their generations. Secondly, using animals, for conducting an experiment is better, as this means a reduction of threats to human beings. In other words, if animals are used to carry out researches, there will be a decline in their population, which also means a reduction of life threatening species. For instance, the frequent use of monkeys to conduct experiment has resulted in the decline of their population; consequently, decline in monkey related diseases. Opponents of the view argue that animals should not be exploited and reserve some rights as they are living things just as humans. This is because they display some similar characteristics as human beings; thus, they should be treated fairly. In addition, the have emotional feeling and as such can get hurt, therefore people should show empathy to them. In summary, despite the opinion of others that animals should not be exploited on as they are living things and possess emotional feelings, I believe that using animals for our personal pleasure has been a lifetime practice which should be upheld, and would eliminate the threat.
Although it is becoming a popular opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by individual, and that they should possess the same right as a person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that employing wildlife for the satisfaction of their plethora needs such as feeding and conducting researches is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to their satisfaction;
hence
, this essay will discuss both views.

Proponents of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
satisfaction believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has been the norm for centuries. This means that our forefathers had always made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for food, as they are a great source of protein, which is an essential nutrient require by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, to stay healthy. To illustrate, ancestors were
mainly
hunters by profession, they hunted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a source of food and livelihood;
thus
, they passed-on these practices to their generations.

Secondly
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, for conducting an experiment is better, as this means a reduction of threats to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to carry out researches, there will be a decline in their population, which
also
means a reduction of life threatening species.
For instance
, the frequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of monkeys to conduct experiment has resulted in the decline of their population;
consequently
, decline in monkey related diseases.

Opponents of the view argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be exploited
and reserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rights as they are living things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they display
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similar characteristics as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings;
thus
, they should
be treated
fairly
.
In addition
, the have emotional feeling and as such can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt,
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
empathy to them.

In summary, despite the opinion of others that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be exploited
on as they are living things and possess emotional feelings, I believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for our personal pleasure has been a lifetime practice which should
be upheld
, and would eliminate the threat.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Physical activity is the best way to keep a healthy body and a healthy mind Do you believe this Do you practice a physical activity If you do what and why If not why v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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