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The chart shows the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 & 2010. v.1

The chart shows the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 & 2010. v. 1
Parenting is one of the important phases of a child’s life because that’s when the child develops and evolves into a better individual. Parents should always teach and encourage children to take their own decision. In my opinion, one learns only after they experience the fact on their own. Parenting can be classified into two types, firstly, where the parents take the decisions for their children and teach them about the right and the wrong doings in the world. Second type would be, where the parents give the juvenile the independence take their decisions and let them learn from their mistakes. According to a study conducted by Harvard recently, which states the importance of decision- making skills. When a child is given independently to take decision, they end up begin great individuals in life, they become a leader and good communicator when compared to the kids who did not have the privilege to stand on their own and take their decisions. The main requirement for decision-making is parents supporting their children and believing in them. Parents work hard for their family, especially children. They take it as a responsibility to develop and nurture the child’s growth by creating a safe and happy environment for their children. And in my opinion, it is important for an infant to have such an environment to grow and develop into successful adults. And children grown in such circumstances end up being a good leader. To conclude, children with good parenting would have confidence and power to lead a large number of people, as they would develop good ethics and morals of their parents. Parents should focus on children’s discipline as well as give them equal independence to take their own decision, so that they can differentiate between right and wrong. Providing a safe and nurturing environment is essential for their cognitive and mental growth. That’s when they end transforming into a better individual with great ideologies.
Parenting is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
phases of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that’s when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develops
and evolves into a better individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should always teach and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. In my opinion, one learns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after they experience the fact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Parenting can
be classified
into two types,
firstly
, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and teach them about the right and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doings in the world. Second type would be, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give the juvenile the independence take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them learn from their mistakes. According to a study conducted by Harvard recently, which states the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision-
making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
independently
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
great individuals in life, they become a leader and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communicator when compared to the kids who did not have the privilege to stand on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. The main requirement for decision-making is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
supporting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and believing in them.

Parents work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for their family,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They take it as a responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
and nurture the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
growth by creating a safe and happy environment for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. And in my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an infant to have such an environment to grow and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
into successful adults. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grown in such circumstances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
leader.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
parenting would have confidence and power to lead
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, as they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ethics and morals of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
discipline
as well
as give them equal independence to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can differentiate between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Providing a safe and nurturing environment is essential for their cognitive and mental growth. That’s when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
transforming into a better individual with great ideologies.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart shows the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 & 2010. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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