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The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010.
The number of people visiting art galleries is plunging in countries around the world. In my opinion, there are several reasons such as the inability to understand modern art, high ticket prices etc. that contributes to it. On the other hand, various effective solution to this problem are reducing entrance charges, promotions etc. Firstly, there is a common notion around the world among people that it is very difficult to understand new form of art and abstracts. Furthermore, people are not able to grasp the intent and idea behind the art which is the main reason behind declining numbers in art galleries. Additionally, people find the prices for tickets are exorbitant which renders them to visit these places. According to a survey, people prefer to spend their leisure time in more enthralling and riveting activities that refreshes them. There are several effective solutions that have been tried in various parts of the world to reprieve art galleries. For instance, the government can foster people to visit places of art by reducing the entry charges. Moreover, various promotion programmes can be started which will help people understand the art. In addition to this, art as a subject can be introduced in primary schools to instil the artistic ideas among children from their childhood itself. Similarly, free educational programmes can be organised so that people are able to understand and enjoy the art which in turn will increase people visiting art museums. To conclude, art represents our cultural heritage and it is very important that it remains intact in our society. So, to improve the current situation, governments around the globe and citizens have to work together to achieve the goal.
The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries is plunging in countries around the world. In my opinion, there are several reasons such as the inability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, high ticket prices etc. that contributes to it.
On the other hand
, various effective solution to this problem are reducing entrance charges, promotions etc.

Firstly
, there is a common notion around the world among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
new form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and abstracts.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to grasp the intent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which is the main reason behind declining numbers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find the prices for tickets are exorbitant which renders them to visit these places. According to a survey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to spend their leisure time in more enthralling and riveting activities that refreshes them.

There are several effective solutions that have
been tried
in various parts of the world to reprieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit places of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
by reducing the entry charges.
Moreover
, various promotion
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a subject can
be introduced
in primary schools to
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
the artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
among children from their childhood itself.
Similarly
, free educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which in turn will increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
museums.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
represents our cultural heritage and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that it remains intact in our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the globe and citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together to achieve the goal.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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