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It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE v.1

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people v. 1
Moving towards the 21st century, a large number of people are nowadays expressing a deeply growing concern about overpopulation in many major urban centres. In fact, it is widely believed that more and more people are moving to large cities. As far as I am concerned, there has been a highly problematic issue, and this raises the question in relation to its causes and potential solutions to deal with. Therefore, some major points will be addressed in the following paragraphs. To begin with, there are two main reasons causing the issue of overcrowding problems in urban cities. First of all, it is a well-documented fact that there is an increasing rate of migration from rural to bigger cities, for better job opportunities. The most obvious example to prove is that people from rural areas suffered fewer job opportunities or low-paid work which forced them to migrate for a better life. Furthermore, there is no doubt that there are few universities, educational institutions or health facilities in villages, meaning people have to shift to cities that offer such facilities. For instance, while New Delhi, the capital of India, has more than 1000 hospitals, the state of Haryana, which is mostly rural, has less than 250. In order to cope with the above issue, there are a number of solutions that could be taken into consideration. First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that give rise to job opportunities in the rural places. A clear example being found to prove is that the government should encourage industries to set-up their business operations in the rural places. Equally important, there is no denying that better infrastructures and facilities should be for village dwellers. This is supported by the fact that Improving hospitals, educational institutions in rural areas by establishing modern hospitals, universities, and companies can ameliorate overcrowding in urbanized areas All things considered, it is my strong belief that the unman aged booming population in urban areas is creating huge pollution and problems for city dwellers. Accordingly, I highly recommend that the governments should enhance people’s awareness in terms of this issue. If this recommendation is carried out, the comprehensive development of our future generations will be ensured centres. In fact, it is widely believed that more and more people are moving to large cities. As far as I am concerned, there has been a highly problematic issue, and this raises the question in relation to its causes and potential solutions to deal with. Therefore, some major points will be addressed in the following paragraphs.
Moving towards the 21st century,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are nowadays expressing a
deeply
growing concern about overpopulation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, it is
widely
believed that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. As far as I
am concerned
, there has been a
highly
problematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, and this raises the question in relation to its causes and potential solutions to deal with.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major points will
be addressed
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two main reasons causing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of overcrowding problems in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is a well-documented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that there is an increasing rate of migration from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, for better job opportunities. The most obvious example to prove is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas suffered fewer job opportunities or low-paid work which forced them to migrate for a better life.
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that there are few universities, educational institutions or health facilities in villages, meaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
shift to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that offer such facilities.
For instance
, while New Delhi, the capital of India, has more than 1000 hospitals, the state of Haryana, which is
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
, has less than 250.

In order to cope with the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, there are a number of solutions that could
be taken
into consideration.
First
and foremost, it is
commonly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that give rise to job opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
places. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example
being found
to prove is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage industries
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
to set-up
their business operations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
places.
Equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, there is no denying that better infrastructures and facilities should be for village dwellers. This
is supported
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that Improving hospitals, educational institutions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas by establishing modern hospitals, universities, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can ameliorate overcrowding in urbanized
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
areas


All things considered, it is my strong belief that
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'unman' is correct. If 'unman' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the unman
aged booming population in urban areas is creating huge pollution and problems for city dwellers.
Accordingly
, I
highly
recommend that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness in terms of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. If this recommendation
is carried
out, the comprehensive development of our future generations will
be ensured
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, it is
widely
believed that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. As far as I
am concerned
, there has been a
highly
problematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, and this raises the question in relation to its causes and potential solutions to deal with.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major points will
be addressed
in the following paragraphs.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
422 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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