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The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010
Social security is one of the irrefutable issues behind all the job seeker's mind. It is concerned that to secure the family in society, job searching would depend on wages what people do get afterwards. This essay will depict my positiveness regarding the money factor while choosing the job and find another considerable fact on this regards. I firmly believe that money is the key factor in our life and thus it would be a vital factor while looking for a job. It provides social security and convenient living across society. On top of that, money dictates the standard of living which will generate happiness, whether you live healthy or sadly. For instance, 28% of the total job seekers nowadays rather wait for a few days to get a good job which will provide handsome wages rather than start a survival job, a recent reputed magazine refers that. Therefore, money plays an important role in the job market. There are several other indicators which should be concerned while choosing a job. Firstly, career development needs to be in consideration when you are looking for a job. How much career growth in that particular job would be achieved that is vital in this context. For instance, since the 1990s, studying in the technical subject has increased by 43% due to career growth in this sector. Secondly, the job environment is another obvious factor in the job. It can create convenience on that particular job which leads to more productivity. Thus, happiness in a job will come automatically. For instance, job seekers try to reveal the work environment while going to face interview in a job. So, besides wages, career growth and work environment should be taken into consideration while seeking jobs. To sum up, money creates a difference everywhere. I am firmly convinced that money plays a lead role while career development and job environment have a partial impact in terms of job-seeking criteria as well.
Social security is one of the irrefutable issues behind all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeker's mind. It
is concerned
that to secure the family in society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
searching would depend on wages what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
afterwards. This essay will depict my positiveness regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
while choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and find another considerable fact on
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards.

I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in our life and
thus
it would be a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
while looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It provides social security and convenient living across society.
On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
dictates the standard of living which will generate happiness, whether you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy or
sadly
.
For instance
, 28% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers nowadays
rather
wait for a few days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which will provide handsome wages
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, a recent reputed magazine refers that.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.

There are several other indicators which should
be concerned
while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
development needs to be in consideration when you are looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. How much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth in that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would
be achieved
that is
vital in this context.
For instance
, since the 1990s, studying in the technical subject has increased by 43% due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth in this sector.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is another obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It can create convenience on that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which leads to more productivity.
Thus
, happiness in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
automatically
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers try to reveal the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
while going to face interview in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
besides
wages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth and work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should
be taken
into consideration while seeking jobs.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
creates a difference everywhere. I am
firmly
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a lead role while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
development and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
have a partial impact in terms of job-seeking criteria
as well
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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