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Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. v. 2
Working from an early age has been a debatable subject over the time. While some people consider that young people should start working as soon as possible, others think the opposite. This essay will discuss both views and will share the author’s personal opinion about it. To begin with, teenagers having part-time jobs have been a common practice since ancient times. These jobs usually are for a shorter period of time than regular, suitable to youngster’s possibilities and have a significant role in their development. Moreover, the sense of reward for their work gives them self confidence and motivation to learn and improve their skills. For example, if a teenager starts working in a company during his studies, he will be motivated to learn more in order to be promoted in that company and to be better paid for his work. So, working from an early age could have many benefits for young people. On the other hand, some people consider that teenagers should not work at all. It could be said that at an early age people should focus on education rather on work. In addition, there are many situations when the work becomes an abuse and children cannot protect themselves against their rulers. For example, in the poor countries, children are doing a lot of physical work that overweigh their capabilities and, at the same time, they have no time for education. Therefore, children should not work, but focus on their education and their growth. In conclusion, working from an early age is a questionable subject with different perspectives. While some people encourage part-time work as a tool for young’s people development, others are against it, thinking about the drawbacks like abusing, lacking of time for education and so on. In my opinion, education should be the first priority at this age, but some part-time jobs, during holidays, could be extremely helpful for young people. These temporary jobs could give them a sense of reality and make them realize what and why is important to study at school.
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Working
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
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age
has been a debatable subject over the
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time
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
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young
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people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
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working
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite. This essay will discuss both views and will share the author’s personal opinion about it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
having part-time
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jobs
have been a common practice since ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
The adverb 'usually' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
usually are
for a shorter period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than regular, suitable to youngster’s possibilities and have a significant role in their development.
Moreover
, the sense of reward for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
gives them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
and motivation to learn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
during his studies, he will
be motivated
to learn more in order to
be promoted
in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and to be better paid for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
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young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
consider that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should not
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work
at all. It could
be said
that at an
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early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
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people
should focus on
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education
rather
on
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work
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
becomes an abuse and children cannot protect themselves against their rulers.
For example
, in the poor countries, children are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh their
capabilities and, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
, children should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and their growth.

In conclusion
,
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working
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is a questionable subject with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encourage part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
development, others are against it, thinking about the drawbacks like abusing, lacking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be the
first
priority at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, during holidays, could be
extremely
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
could give them a sense of reality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize what and why is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to study at school.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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