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United intergovernmental panel on climate change report that climactic changes in northern hemisphere will cause drastick change in sea current and will raise the sea level. v.1

United intergovernmental panel on climate change report that climactic changes in northern hemisphere will cause drastick change in sea current and will raise the sea level. v. 1
It is often observed that a lot of first time offenders commit more crimes after they serve out their sentence. In my opinion, the main reasons for this are due to the social stigma associated with people who have committed crimes coupled with a lack of opportunities. The government can play a major role in solving this issue by taking certain proactive steps. In general, the attitude of society at large towards people who have served jail times is one of resentment and suspicion. This can severely impact the reintegration of these individuals and can lead to a feeling of isolation and mistrust, which, if left unchecked can propel them back towards the path of crime. The state can play an important role with regards to educating people about the importance of giving such offenders a second chance. This can be achieved by creating awareness campaigns which help people understand the importance of such attitude and also the dangers of doing otherwise. Another major reason people may return to committing crimes after serving one sentence, is due to a lack of job-oriented training in jails. If first time offenders are taught and trained in skills which would make them more employable when they are let free, it will make their chances of obtaining a decent paying job much higher. As a result of it, they will have less motivation to return to committing crimes. Once again, the government can play a vital role by implementing courses and training in jails, which would greatly enhance the chances of successful re-integration of these inmates. In conclusion, in my opinion the trend of first time offenders committing more crimes after their early incarceration is mainly due to the challenges these people face upon their release from jails and timely and appropriate measures by the government can significantly help address this problem.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
observed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
commit more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after they serve out their sentence. In my opinion, the main reasons for this are due to the social stigma associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
coupled with a lack of opportunities. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play a major role in solving this issue by taking certain proactive steps.

In general
, the attitude of society at large towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have served
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
is one of resentment and suspicion. This can
severely
impact the reintegration of these individuals and can lead to a feeling of isolation and mistrust, which, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unchecked can propel them back towards the path of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The state can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the importance of giving such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
a second chance. This can
be achieved
by creating awareness campaigns which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the importance of such attitude and
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of doing
otherwise
.

Another major reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may return to committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after serving one sentence, is due to a lack of job-oriented training in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
. If
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
are taught
and trained in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more employable when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
free, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their chances of obtaining a decent paying job much higher.
As a result
of it, they will have less motivation to return to committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Once again, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play a vital role by implementing courses and training in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
, which would
greatly
enhance the chances of successful re-integration of these inmates.

In conclusion
, in my opinion the trend of
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
committing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after their early incarceration is
mainly
due to the challenges these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face upon their release from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
and timely and appropriate measures by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
address this problem.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay United intergovernmental panel on climate change report that climactic changes in northern hemisphere will cause drastick change in sea current and will raise the sea level. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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