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The charts below illustrate the average bed use in three typical hospitals internationally and the proportion of hospital budgets allocated to in-patient care before and after day-surgery was introduced in 2003. v.1

The charts below illustrate the average bed use in three typical hospitals internationally and the proportion of hospital budgets allocated to in-patient care before and after day-surgery was introduced in 2003. v. 1
In today's era media has so much independence than ever before. Media is telecasting negative side of the society more than positive on. In this regard, some people believe that it has a detrimental effect on local communities and community. This essay will discuss why I completely agree with this proposition. News and talk shows mainly focusing on political issues and poor law and order situation of the country due to this overall image of the country would damage. Although it is necessary to talk about the basic issues such as political uncertainty and poor rules and, regulations, but frequently highlighting these issues will result in a decrease in the number of tourists which have a negative impact on small business profits and local shop holder's income. For example, Karachi is the city of Pakistan and it was considered the hub of tourism, but due to bad reporting of media about daily road accidents and target killings nobody wants to visit this city. Therefore, media play an important role in the country's reputation. Most of tv drama is about crime series and a youngster takes interest in it. Media should also focus on the science and technology development made by students of the university so that other students also got encouraged. For example, most of TV dramas are about criminal activities due to which many people in society learn new techniques of crime. Overall, it is necessary to alert the public about crime cases, however talking too much about these cases will have a damaging effect for the public. This essay discussed why the media should not frequently telecast the crime rates and other problems even they should more focus on new development. In my opinion, I completely agree with this proposition that telecasting about problems have a negative impact on people and society.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much independence than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
telecasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of the society more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
on. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it has a detrimental effect on local communities and community. This essay will discuss why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this proposition.

News and talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
mainly
focusing on political issues and poor law and order situation of the country due to this
overall
image of the country would damage. Although it is necessary to talk about the basic issues such as political uncertainty and poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and, regulations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
frequently
highlighting these issues will result in a decrease in the number of tourists which have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business profits and local shop holder's income.
For example
, Karachi is the city of Pakistan and it
was considered
the hub of tourism,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
reporting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
about daily road accidents and target killings nobody wants to visit this city.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the country's reputation.

Consider using "Most tv" or "Most of the tv".
Most of tv
drama is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
series and a youngster takes interest in it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
should
also
focus on the science and technology development made by students of the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other students
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
encouraged.
For example
,
Consider using "most TV" or "most of the TV".
most of TV
dramas are about criminal activities due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society learn new techniques of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Overall
, it is necessary to alert the public about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cases,
however
talking too much about these cases will have a damaging effect for the public.

This essay discussed why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should not
frequently
telecast the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates and other problems even they should more focus on new development. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this proposition that telecasting about problems have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below illustrate the average bed use in three typical hospitals internationally and the proportion of hospital budgets allocated to in-patient care before and after day-surgery was introduced in 2003. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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