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1: The information below gives details about household income and spendingon food and clothes by an average family in one UK city in 2010 and 2013. v.1

1: The information below gives details about household income and spendingon food and clothes by an average family in one UK city in 2010 and 2013. v. 1
The past decade has seen a drastic change in the shopping habits of the people. A majority of the customers prefer to shop from the shopping malls rather than small local shops. This essay will discuss the positive change brought about by the development and growth of shopping centres. In a metro city like Mumbai, where travelling takes up the majority of one's time, shopping centres are considered a boon. Malls are a one stop destination, satisfying all the customer's needs under one roof. These centres house a variety of shops each providing different items of necessity to their patrons. This mall has a number of shops selling a variety of clothing, kitchen essentials, home decor, furnishing and similar products. For example, nearly each mall has a separate refreshment area to serve the customers with food and drinks. It is a well known fact that most of the branded products are very expensive. However, the development of the centres has brought these branded items to our doorstep by providing them at discounted rates. The brands which were once considered to be a luxury and an unattainable by the middle class people are now spreading over the cities and countries through these malls. For instance, brands like Charles and Keith have their outlets in every mall. To sum up, I believe that the growth of shopping malls is beneficial for both, the country's economy as well as consumers. Though it leads to halting of the business of some of the local shop owners, it overall has proved as a positive change in the society.
The past decade has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. A majority of the customers prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
brought about by the development and growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

In a metro city like Mumbai, where travelling takes up the majority of one's time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are considered
a boon.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Malls
are a one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
destination, satisfying all the customer's needs under one roof. These
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
each providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items of necessity to their patrons. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
has a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
selling a variety of clothing, kitchen essentials, home decor, furnishing and similar products.
For example
,
nearly
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
has a separate refreshment area to serve the customers with food and drinks.

It is a well known fact that most of the branded products are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
However
, the development of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
has brought these branded items to our doorstep by providing them at discounted rates. The brands which were once considered to be a luxury and an unattainable by the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
spreading over the cities and countries through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
For instance
, brands like Charles and Keith have their outlets in every mall.

To sum up, I believe that the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is beneficial for both, the country's economy
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
consumers. Though it leads to halting of the business of
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners, it
overall
has proved as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1: The information below gives details about household income and spendingon food and clothes by an average family in one UK city in 2010 and 2013. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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