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Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free from everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Discuss the difficulties of applying such a principle. v.1

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free from everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Discuss the difficulties of applying such a principle. v. 1
Nowadays, tourism industry becomes more popular among all the residents of the globe. It is sometimes argued that the positive aspects of this trend by far outweigh the negative ones. I believe that this is a positive scheme and could bring advantages for nations. There are various possible reasons why I believe international tourism would be beneficial for countries. Firstly, tourism industry creates more job opportunities for local people and consequently brings more income and funds for them. Secondly, it encourages the governments and wealthy individuals to invest in this area and this issue will improve the social welfare and enhance the quality of life in these sites. Finally, countries can introduce their culture, custom and traditions to other people all over the world and this would be a positive propaganda for the host country. To prove my claim, I can refer to an article having been published in Times magazine, indicates that the number of tourists who are interested in visiting countries which are rich in history but are not developed has been increased up to 30% in recent years. On the other hand, the negative impacts of expansion of international tourism should not be neglected. Due to the popularity of tourism, countries made more constructions such as hotels, roads, restaurants and the like that spoiled the natural habitats of animals and mitigate the unspoiled areas. Besides, tourists produce a large amount of litter and rubbish which is not recycled and is a threat to the nature. Furthermore, the expansion of tourism would cause some traditional jobs to be died out such as farming, fishing and weaving carpets. A recent research in Michigan University reveals that more than 100 traditional jobs in local areas are superseded by modern vocations. To conclude, although the international tourism brings some detrimental effects for countries, it could enhance the average level of life.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry becomes more popular among all the residents of the globe. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of this trend by far outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones. I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
scheme and could bring advantages for nations.

There are various possible reasons why I believe international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
would be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry creates more job opportunities for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
consequently
brings more income and funds for them.
Secondly
, it encourages the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and wealthy individuals to invest in this area and this issue will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the social welfare and enhance the quality of life in these sites.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can introduce their culture, custom and traditions to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world and this would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
propaganda for the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To prove my claim, I can refer to an article having
been published
in Times magazine, indicates that the number of tourists who
are interested
in visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are rich in history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are not developed has
been increased
up to 30% in recent years.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of expansion of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should not
be neglected
. Due to the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
made more constructions such as hotels, roads, restaurants and the like that spoiled the natural habitats of animals and mitigate the unspoiled areas.
Besides
, tourists produce a large amount of litter and rubbish which is not recycled and is a threat to the nature.
Furthermore
, the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
would cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional jobs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
out such as farming, fishing and weaving carpets. A recent research in Michigan University reveals that more than 100 traditional jobs in local areas
are superseded
by modern vocations.

To conclude
, although the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it could enhance the average level of life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free from everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Discuss the difficulties of applying such a principle. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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