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The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v.1

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 1
It is suggested by a few that good teachers play a remarkable role in the academic career of an individual, while others contradict and argue that student's attitude and behaviour has more impact on his educational performance. In my opinion, I consider that both the teachers and aptitude of student contribute equally in bringing educational success. On the one hand, those who think good teachers as a major role player in the educational success of a child argue this because teachers are thought to identify the shortcomings of their pupils. In other words, it is understandable that those teachers who have a vast teaching experience are possessed with a unique ability to readily identify the weaknesses of their students and take appropriate and effective remedial steps, that an ordinary teacher probably lacks in. For instance, taking the example of an Ielts test, many test takers despite the clear knowledge of the asked topic struggle in expressing their thoughts on paper in a coherent and concise manner. Only a reliable and experienced teacher can identify their mistakes and guide them accordingly. Had good teachers not available to rescue these students, they might have to face failure again and again. On the other hand, there are many who believe that it is the student's attitude that probably matter in his educational results rather than the type of the teacher. Their view seems logical as a child who shows dis-interest in studies rather remain busy in other extracurricular activities like playing online games is destined to fail despite providing the best available teachers and coaching classes. I find it convincing that without putting in the hard work and burning the midnight oil, it is very difficult to bring good results. A recent interview of the board toppers brought forward that they studied consistently for more than eight hours a day to achieve their position. So, this highlights the importance of the attitude and hard work that is required to secure good grades in studies. In conclusion, I believe that both the teachers and students have an equivalent role in bringing good academic results. This is because a student may be hardworking but unable to get good marks due to poor coaching. On a flip side, it is quite possible that a child with a casual behaviour might fail or perform poorly in exams, in spite of the best available teachers. It is, therefore, concluded that good teachers and positive learning attitude are both keys to the good academic performances.
It
is suggested
by a few that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a remarkable role in the academic career of an individual, while others contradict and argue that student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
has more impact on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
performance. In my opinion, I consider that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and aptitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
contribute
equally
in bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
success.

On the one hand, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as a major role player in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
success of a child argue this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to identify the shortcomings of their pupils. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it is understandable that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a vast teaching experience
are possessed
with a unique ability to
readily
identify the weaknesses of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and take appropriate and effective remedial steps, that an ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
probably
lacks in.
For instance
, taking the example of an
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ielts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
takers despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
knowledge of the asked topic struggle in expressing their thoughts on paper in a coherent and concise manner.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a reliable and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can identify their mistakes and guide them
accordingly
. Had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
not available to rescue these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face failure again and again.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that it is the student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
that
probably
matter in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
results
rather
than the type of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. Their view seems logical as a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
dis-interest in studies
rather
remain busy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
extracurricular activities like playing online games
is destined
to fail despite providing the best available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and coaching classes. I find it convincing that without putting in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and burning the midnight oil, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
results. A recent interview of the board toppers brought forward that they studied
consistently
for more than eight hours a day to achieve their position.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this highlights the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work that
is required
to secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grades in studies.

In conclusion
, I believe that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have an equivalent role in bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
academic results. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
may be hardworking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
marks due to poor coaching. On a flip side, it is quite possible that a child with a casual
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
might fail or perform
poorly
in exams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the best available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. It is,
therefore
, concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
are both keys to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
academic performances.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
416 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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