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The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, an make comparisions where relevant. v.1

The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
It is thought by many that raising children is only parents` responsibility and should not be shared with other family members. I think, however, it would definitely be better if uncles, aunts and grandparents would participate in this and in this essay, both views will be discussed. On the one hand, when whole families are involved in bringing up children, there are more standpoints and previous experiences to help solve daily life decisions and issues. For example, a grandmother can share her views on how to apply limits on her grandchild as she has already done this with her own children. Another advantage is that there is no need to hire babysitters, adult family members, in like manner, could take shifts to take care of children and therefore everybody will have the opportunity to equally participate in parenting and have more free time to do leisure activities and work. Others think, however, that only parents are responsible for their child upbringing. The first reason for this is that too many opinions may get the child confused and unable to know who to respond to. The second reason is that parents should consult professionals, such as paediatricians or psychologists when deciding on what is better for their kids. There are, for instance, many books on raising children that can be read, rather than asking for help from the rest of the family with parenting decisions. In conclusion, whereas some people think that only parents should decide how to bring up their children, I think that sharing this responsibility with the rest of the family is more economical, time saver and nurturing for children`s personalities. In this manner, all households around the world should opt for this way of raising kids.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents`
responsibility and should not
be shared
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
,
however
, it would definitely be better if uncles, aunts and grandparents would participate in this and in this essay, both views will
be discussed
.

On the one hand, when whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are involved
in bringing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there are more standpoints and previous experiences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
solve daily life decisions and issues.
For example
, a grandmother can share her views on how to apply limits on her grandchild as she has already done this with her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Another advantage is that there is no need to hire babysitters, adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, in like manner, could take shifts to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
therefore
everybody will have the opportunity to
equally
participate in parenting and have more free time to do leisure activities and work.

Others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
,
however
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible for their child upbringing. The
first
reason for this is that too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opinions may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the child confused and unable to know who to respond to. The second reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should consult professionals, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
paediatricians
or psychologists when deciding on what is better for their kids. There are,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books on raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that can
be read
,
rather
than asking for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with parenting decisions.

In conclusion
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should decide how to bring up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that sharing this responsibility with the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is more economical, time saver and nurturing for
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
personalities. In this manner, all households around the world should opt for this way of raising kids.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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