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Test 3 Cam 9 The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

Test 3 Cam 9 The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050
In the modern era, people in the society are giving more importance to the knowledgeable people who are scientists and technology experts rather than musicians and artists. However, I agree with the statement that these experts are responsible to create a history by finding natural resources which are useful to the people who are facing difficulties in typical situations. I also believe that artists and musicians also play important role in the formation of generation by providing a useful message to the people about changes that happened in the nature. Firstly, a scientist is necessary to find out solutions to the any kind of problems that are occurring unexpectedly in the living behaviour. Without scientists and technology experts, there are no updated medicines and surgeries which helps to cure the health issues that happening in this modern development. Though scientists, we are achieving our healthy and happy life. Secondly, technology experts are the persons who are making new inventions which are accessible to the citizens easily. Another important point is that these people are also working on the spaceships to find out natural resources that are required to people to live in the society. For example, recently ISRO launched a project named chandrayan2 to find out any information on the south pole of the moon. This is the first time in the history and also the first country to launch spaceship on the south pole of the moon, which makes the whole country to be proud of the historic moment. On the other hand, musicians and artists are also considered to be valued because they are the only people who make impossible situations into possible. Music is the heart of any situation that give emotion to the people, which makes them to connect with the situation. An artist, another important person who portrays the beautiful paints that reflects the situation of the human life. Artists and musicians are also curing the people who are suffering from emotional diseases by motivating them towards the situations that relieve them. Owing to all these, the artist and musician are also having different kind of talent that valued by the humans. To conclude, I reiterate my statement by saying that artists, musicians and scientists are playing a vital role in the community. Both of them have to be valued by their profession and dedication towards the people and country.
In the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society are giving more importance to the knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
are responsible to create a history by finding natural resources which are useful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are facing difficulties in typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
also
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the formation of generation by providing a useful message to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that happened in the nature.

Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
is necessary to find out solutions to the any kind of problems that are occurring
unexpectedly
in the living
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
, there are no updated medicines and surgeries which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to cure the health issues that happening in this modern development. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
, we are achieving our healthy and happy life.
Secondly
, technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
are the persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are making new inventions which are accessible to the citizens
easily
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
working on the spaceships to find out natural resources that
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the society.
For example
, recently ISRO launched a project named chandrayan2 to find out any information on the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
south pole
of the moon. This is the
first
time in the history and
also
the
first
country to launch spaceship on the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
south pole
of the moon, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the whole country to be proud of the historic moment.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are
also
considered to
be valued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
impossible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
into possible. Music is the heart of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
that give emotion to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to connect with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
portrays the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
paints that reflects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of the human life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Artists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
are
also
curing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are suffering from emotional diseases by motivating them towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
that relieve them. Owing to all these, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
are
also
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of talent that valued by the humans.

To conclude
, I reiterate my statement by saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are playing a vital role in the community. Both of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be valued
by their profession and dedication towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Test 3 Cam 9 The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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