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The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. v.1

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. v. 1
Presently, most of the people are interested in the subjects, which helps them to pursue a job. So, the art exhibitions are reducing in certain nations, while the public visiting these functions are also decreasing. In this essay, I will debate the causes and solutions to this problem. Firstly, In modern days people are interested only in earning money rather than utilizing their spending by purchasing a valuable monument. Though they can encourage craft exhibitions by visiting, but these people were willing to spend their money on other activities. Secondly, the education curriculum in most of the universities is focused on co-curricular activities, while this helps them in securing a job. Besides, these are acting as one of the main causes in the decline of the painting. A research stated that 90% of the graduates do not have a basic awareness on handicrafts exhibitions and the reputation of art in their life. The government should try to change the teaching system to give equal importance to other activities along with studies. If the student can focus on the craft and other activities, it helps them to reduce stress and anxiety. As a result, the public, which were organized by the trainees, shows interest to see the art exhibitions. In conclusion, with changes in modern culture and lifestyle of the people had changed a lot, whereas the importance of education and employment had also mounted. Nevertheless, law enforcement agencies should change the education system, which gives priority to extra-curricular and co-curricular activities. Therefore, I opine that people should try to recognize the importance of handicrafts and other activities.
Presently
, most of the
people
are interested
in the subjects, which
helps
them to pursue a job.
So
, the art exhibitions are reducing in certain nations, while the public visiting these functions are
also
decreasing. In this essay, I will debate the causes and solutions to this problem.

Firstly
, In modern days
people
are interested
only
in earning money
rather
than utilizing their spending by purchasing a valuable monument. Though they can encourage craft exhibitions by visiting,
but
these
people
were willing to spend their money on
other
activities
.
Secondly
, the education curriculum in most of the universities
is focused
on co-curricular
activities
, while
this
helps
them in securing a job.
Besides
, these are acting as one of the main causes in the decline of the painting.
A research
stated that 90% of the graduates do not have a basic awareness on handicrafts exhibitions and the reputation of art in their life.

The
government
should try to
change
the teaching system to give equal importance to
other
activities
along with studies. If the student can focus on the craft and
other
activities
, it
helps
them to
reduce
stress
and anxiety.
As a result
, the public, which
were organized
by the trainees,
shows
interest to
see
the art exhibitions.

In conclusion
, with
changes
in modern culture and lifestyle of the
people
had
changed
a lot, whereas the importance of education and employment had
also
mounted.
Nevertheless
, law enforcement agencies should
change
the education system, which gives priority to extra-curricular and co-curricular
activities
.
Therefore
, I opine that
people
should try to recognize the importance of handicrafts and
other
activities
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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