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The chart below shows the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v.1

The chart below shows the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v. 1
There is a substantial increase in the number of people looking for life partners through online dating platforms. While it is a matter of choice, I strongly believe that it is detrimental because it is difficult to identify the real character of a person and it may pose some risks related to background checks. Online dating channels are way to bring different individuals at one place and search for their life partners. However, these resources might display the outer look of various kinds of people who may have quite strange attitude in real life. This is to say that their prime targets are people with low self-esteem because it is easy to hide personal reality in terms of their look and behaviour. For Example, a recent survey reported that 78% of the couple, who got married through online dating has been suffering from a lack of mutual understanding because their partner didn’t seem to have the same attitude as before during their meetings on virtual sites. A lot of people opine that dating websites are a better way to meet their potential spouses because the options are not limited to a particular community or race. Although, this is correct to some extent, there are potential risks. For example, there is no adequate verification conducted before registering someone. This is a flaw that jeopardizes the safety of people by enabling them to meet random strangers. Such websites ought to have improved / foolproof background check process, as people are getting honey trapped more often. In conclusion, in spite of the spike in the number of people using dating platforms, I strongly advocate we should refrain from using such websites. It can be potentially dangerous and can lower the self-confidence of people.
There is a substantial increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
looking for life partners through online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
platforms. While it is a matter of choice, I
strongly
believe that it is detrimental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is difficult to identify the real character of a person and it may pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
related to background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
channels are way to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuals at one place and search for their life partners.
However
, these resources might display the outer look of various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who may have quite strange attitude in real life. This is to say that their prime targets are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with low self-esteem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
personal reality in terms of their look and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For Example
, a recent survey reported that 78% of the couple, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married through online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
has been suffering from a lack of mutual understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their partner didn’t seem to have the same attitude as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
during their meetings on virtual sites.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
websites are a better way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their potential spouses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the options are not limited to a particular community or race. Although, this is correct to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, there are potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
For example
, there is no adequate verification conducted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
registering someone. This is a flaw that jeopardizes the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by enabling them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
random strangers. Such websites ought to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
/ foolproof background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
process, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting honey trapped more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the spike in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
platforms, I
strongly
advocate we should refrain from using such websites. It can be
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and can lower the self-confidence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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