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The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015
We live in the age of computer and information technology and with the tap of the finger, we can get virtually any information we need. This fire up a debate that in the future, whether we will no longer need to have schools, galleries, museums or library as people can easily view everything from education to culture and entertainment using a computer. Personally, I quite disagree with the given statement and believe that online information can never replace the needs of these essential buildings. First of all, only when we have museums, art galleries or collection of historic objects we can present them online. Secondly, museums preserve the real object, keeping them safe, while the online presentation has nothing to do with preserving those invaluable works of art. Moreover, working in museums requires groups of experts in order to maintain and evaluate historic objects and how to preserve them. In contrary, online website is often run by ordinary people and authencity are not always possible Furthermore, in education, distance learning is more challenging than traditional learning. Although it brings many benefits, but we should not rely on it. For example, studying in school is more efficient for students to obtain the knowledge as their teachers are by their side in studying time and all questions will be answer through simple communication. Moreover, the internet contained many distractions and waste your time. By that means, surfing the internet without carefulness and determination may cost you an immense amount of time To summarise, online education, culture and entertainment is alluring in modern life. Although it can not meet the needs of using the real establishment of museum of arts, schools and libraries around the world
We
live
in the age of computer and information technology and with the tap of the finger, we can
get
virtually
any information we
need
. This fire up a debate that in the future, whether we will no longer
need
to have schools, galleries,
museums
or library as
people
can
easily
view everything from education to culture and entertainment using a computer.
Personally
, I quite disagree with the
given
statement and believe that
online
information can never replace the
needs
of these essential buildings.

First of all
,
only
when we have
museums
, art galleries or collection of historic objects we can present them
online
.
Secondly
,
museums
preserve the real object, keeping them safe, while the
online
presentation has nothing to do with preserving those invaluable works of art.
Moreover
, working in
museums
requires groups of experts in order to maintain and evaluate historic objects and how to preserve them. In contrary,
online
website is
often
run by ordinary
people
and
authencity
are not always
possible


Furthermore
, in education, distance learning is more challenging than traditional learning. Although it brings
many
benefits,
but
we should not rely on it.
For example
, studying in school is more efficient for students to obtain the knowledge as their teachers are by their side in studying time and all questions will be
answer
through simple communication.
Moreover
, the internet contained
many
distractions and waste your time. By that means, surfing the internet without carefulness and determination may cost you an immense amount of
time


To
summarise
,
online
education, culture and entertainment is alluring in modern life. Although it can not
meet
the
needs
of using the real establishment of
museum
of arts, schools and libraries around the
world
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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