Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart below The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in 5 different age groups in the US from 1850 to 2000. Summarise the main feature and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The bar chart below The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in 5 different age groups in the US from 1850 to 2000. Summarise the main feature and make comparisons where relevant. v. 1
Compare to the previous years, many individuals now prepare to have kids in their late age. The reason is that they believe that they ought to be financially buoyant before having kids. Despite the fact, the gain of this trend is that they already have the resources to care for them, but this development also come with drawbacks that the kids might still be young when their parent retired as well as the mother having complication during child birth. In my opinion, the setbacks are more than the benefit it may have. The reason is that most individuals consider their financial capacity. In fact, the people believe that they must be financially buoyant before considering to start having kids compared to the previous years were some individuals never think of their status before having them. Take for instance, a person who is earning fifty thousand would never give birth to children, because he is not capable to fend for them properly. Hence, individuals ought to acquire more fund to cater for them. One major benefit is that the individuals have all the resources and time to care for the kids. This is because the young stars would never lack funds as well as good education because their parents have already worked for it. Take for example, a person that has already worked for money in his early years before having kids would have all what it takes to care for them. As a result of this his child would benefit from it rather than the parents that do not acquire resources before giving birth to them. The setback of this trend is that the pupils might still be young while their parents are already at their advanced age. In fact, they may still be schooling at the time when their parents are old, because their parents may not have the strength and the capacity to cater for them anymore. To illustrate, if a seventy year old man has a son of twenty years old in the higher institution, his father might not have the opportunity to further sponsor his education. In addition, parents may not be able to eat the fruit of their labour due to the child's age. In conclusion, the reason for this development is that individuals put consideration on their prosperity. Although there are benefits to this trend, but the demerits are more than the gain because parents might not have the opportunity to finish what they have started such as sponsoring their education and also has the chance to acquire the gain of parenting from them.
Compare to the previous years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prepare to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in their late age. The reason is that they believe that they ought to be
financially
buoyant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Despite the fact, the gain of this trend is that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
have the resources to care for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this development
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with drawbacks that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
still
be young when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
retired
as well
as the mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
complication during child birth. In my opinion, the setbacks are more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
it may have.

The reason is that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
consider their financial capacity. In fact, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
financially
buoyant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
considering to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
compared to the previous years were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of their status
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
them. Take
for instance
, a person who is earning fifty thousand would never give birth to children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is not capable to fend for them
properly
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
ought to acquire more fund to cater for them.

One major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have all the resources and time to care for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the young stars would never lack funds
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
worked for it. Take
for example
, a person that has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
worked for money in his early years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
would have all what it takes to care for them.
As a result
of this his child would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from it
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that do not acquire resources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
giving birth to them.

The setback of this trend is that the pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
still
be young while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
at their advanced age. In fact, they may
still
be schooling at the time when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may not have the strength and the capacity to cater for them anymore. To illustrate, if a seventy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has a son of twenty years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in the higher institution, his father
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not have the opportunity to
further
sponsor his education.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may not be able to eat the fruit of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
due to the child's age.

In conclusion
, the reason for this development is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
put consideration on their prosperity. Although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the demerits are more than the gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not have the opportunity to finish what they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
such as sponsoring their education and
also
has the chance to acquire the gain of parenting from them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart below The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in 5 different age groups in the US from 1850 to 2000. Summarise the main feature and make comparisons where relevant. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
430 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts