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The chart below, shows the amount of money per spent on fast foods in britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent. v.1

The chart below, shows the amount of money per spent on fast foods in britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.
People have various concerns when choosing a career. Some are of the opinion that money is the most important factor to look out for when in search of a job. In this essay, I will give reasons why I completely disagree with this point of view. On one hand, it is understandable that money is necessary to keep up with basic expenses and lifestyle. Due to this, people want to earn more money so that they can take care of basic needs such as food, health care and housing. There have been instances where skilled workers left their passion to seek for white-collar jobs because the latter is guaranteed to bring more income to cater for their expenses. Although it is essential to factor in wages while choosing an occupation, I am of the opinion that there are more important things to look out for. Firstly, passion for a profession is a key consideration, it is necessary to make sure that one enjoys his occupation in order to maximise his potential in it. In addition, working hours and workplace distance are also crucial to the satisfaction of a career. Travelling long distances before getting to work, or working for a long period contribute to work-related stress. For example, a survey on the stress level of health workers in Nigeria revealed that 69% of doctors are mentally unhealthy due to work-related stress. This is a result of the long hours they put in at work. To sum up, while it is true that the size of income matters during career consideration, I strongly believe that there are more important factors to consider in order to achieve complete job satisfaction.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have various concerns when choosing a career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that money is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to look out for when in search of a job. In this essay, I will give reasons why I completely disagree with this point of view.

On one hand, it is understandable that money is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with basic expenses and lifestyle. Due to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to earn more money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can take care of basic needs such as food, health care and housing. There have been instances where skilled workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their passion to seek for white-collar jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the latter
is guaranteed
to bring more income to cater for their expenses.

Although it is essential to factor in wages while choosing an occupation, I am of the opinion that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things to look out for.
Firstly
, passion for a profession is a key consideration, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that one enjoys his occupation in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
his potential in it.
In addition
, working hours and workplace distance are
also
crucial to the satisfaction of a career. Travelling long distances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting to work, or working for a long period contribute to work-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For example
, a survey on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level of health workers in Nigeria revealed that 69% of doctors are mentally unhealthy due to work-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This is a result of the long hours they put in at work.

To sum up, while it is true that the size of income matters during career consideration, I
strongly
believe that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors to consider in order to achieve complete job satisfaction.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below, shows the amount of money per spent on fast foods in britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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